Srtuggling to help him hold a pen and try and write his name

[JennyJJ]

My son will be 4 in August and will be the youngest in his class when he starts school. On and off over the last couple of months I have tried to help him to hold a pen and write his name. He really struggles and I certainly don't push it, but he doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. Is it normal/ok for a child not to be able to do this when they start school? My older son had no trouble and could write his name well before starting school.

JennyJJ - i could have written this post 18 months ago. please please donbt worry and if anything, back off completely. My Ds was exactly the same and he has been pretty much the last one in his class to get the hang of his letters (he will be 6 in june) but now he writes for pleasure, not because he has to and enjoys it. It is typical of boys apparently. My son also rarely used cutlery if he had the option and couldn't use scissors until a few months ago.

I was asked if my son was an early walker as generally thope that are don't crawl so much (obviously) and so dont build up the strength in their upper body. My son was actually a late walker so that blew that theory away but the school did identify that he was lacking in gross motor skills and we spent time working on those (swimming, cycling, judo, wheelbarrow races).
It took him a while to get the strength up to hold a pen properly but it did happen.

please dont worry (I know I did and you will ;m sure anyway .

I should add that my Ds is otherwise fairly bright and has a way above average reading age so the lack of writing skills doesn't necessarily denote anything more sinister.

Thanks Mckenzie.

He walked at 15 months and only started talking at just over 2.

He struggles with fiddly things, but strangley picked up scissors and used them fine first time! (at about the time he turned three). He just can't seem to copy letters very well. There is a 'k' in his name and he just does not get it. I never push him and if he gets frustrated we go off and do something else.

JennyJJ - I really would not worry too much at this stage. My Ds is in Reception and the signed 5th birthday cards he got showed a huge range of writing abilities.

One thing Ds's teacher said really helped was lego and playmobil. Ds loves these and she said they are fantastic for helping with fine motor skills - and that it was better to play with these enthusiastically than force them into writing unenthusiastically.

jj My ds was just the same. he is now in year one and his writing is still behind all the 6 year olds in his class (july baby), but he is making steady progress. The teachers will understand. In reception they could hardly drag him out of the sand tray to do any from of work-but he was 4 and still not ready for it! he will be fine.

I've just remembered some ideas I was also given of other things to do to help DS.

bucket of water and big paint brush and let him 'paint' the garage door/outside walls etc. try and encourage him to swap hands regularly.

tray, with high sides, mix up some flour and water to make a thin paste and then let him make shapes and pictures with his fingers.

JennyJJ, I thought of you today when DS's teacher called me into school this morning to show me some of his writing that is now displayed in the school corridor .

DS seems to have had a bit of an epiphany this last term and suddenly the writing and the spelling is coming so much easier to him.

I just wondered how your son is getting on and I hope that by telling you about my DS it will give you some comfort and reassurance about the future. I was beginning to worry that DS was always going to have a problem (his grip even now is still quite poor) but I have taken great delight in watching him enjoy writing christmas cards to his classmates for the first time ever and when I saw his writing on the corridor wall I cried .

I hope things are looking up for you and your DS too.

Why do you think they do so much 'colouring in' and dot-to-dots in reception?

DS was 4 in July and started reception in Sept. When he started he couldn't write any of his name and would hold a pen awkwardly to draw. He wasn't keen on drawing (except with pavement chalk in the summer).

Last night he wrote his name in 20 Xmas cards! He has been shown by his teacher how to hold his pen and regularly instructs me how to do it (!). He has also started drawing people etc for pleasure.

Really don't worry at all. Ds1 has only just started to write and it has come on in a rush. He is 4, a typical summer born boy, born 29 July. He suddenly just seemed to get it.

He also doesn't like drawing still but doesn't mind writing so much. Interesting about the upper body crawling thing- he never wanted to crawl and went almost straight to walking. He is also quite clumsy, a blunt instrument I call him!

It can be galling going to the classroom and seeing all these perfect little missives and drawings, usually done by little girls or the autumn born boys. He is doing it all at his own sweet pace.

My ds was exactly like this, and nursery were really concerned as he couldn't hold a pencil, do jigsaws or use scissors properly, let alone write his name or draw and he wasn't interested in doing it either.

He started school in Sept and within 2 weeks, he was asking me for paper for him to scribble on, and roughly 2 weeks after that he wrote his name

I had been so worried that he would never be able to do it, and even though his new teachers had reassured me and told me he would be fine, I still worried, but they were right and he is doing really really well. He still ocasionally doesn't grip the pencil hard enough which causes lack of pencil control, but he soon realises and tightens his grip up.

Yes it is normal for a child to start school unable to hold a pen and write their name.
A good prewriting activitie is drawing in sand or flour with hes his fingers or a stick.