My baby didn’t want to come to me at nursery

[thisbumpyroad]

I am such an emotional wreck tonight. Would love to know if anyone has been in this position and/or if you know why my little boy (12 month old) may have done this. He has just started nursery - has only don’t three full days this month as I wanted to ease him in before I start back at work next month. He has a lovely key worker who I think is great with him and the other children in her care. Tonight, when I collected him, he clung on to his keyworker and wouldn’t come to me. She tried a couple of times but he’d burrow his head in her neck and whimper, turning his back completely on me. Initially I felt really embarrassed but quite quickly my heart absolutely broke. I had to prize him from her and walk to the car with him crying. I feel totally and utterly devastated. I have a wonderful relationship with him and we play and have lovely times together. I just don’t understand why he didn’t want his mummy. Has anyone experienced this?

He was mad at you for leaving him and saw the key worker as the one who "rescued" him.
Or he was having a great time playing and wanted to stay.
Nothing to worry about, my dd has thrown a few hissy fits in her time about leaving nursery, it's always temporary though.
Sending it's a horrible feeling, hope you're ok now?

You need to think about this another way. How fantastic that you've found a nursery that your ds doesn't want to leave? He's not rejecting you, he probably wants to continue playing there.

My DS is 2.5 years now and is a lot better but when he was 12months, coming home to see me at the end of the day (my DH collects him from either nursery or grandparents 4 days a week) he'd be very shy & awkward with me for around 10mins.

Infact even now, after a day at his grandparents he'll mistakenly call me 'Nanny' for a while.

Children attach themselves very quickly to their daily carers for safety and love, so to then suddenly see you at the end of a good day can be confusing.

Do not take it to heart. Or be embarrassed, the nursery workers will have seen it all before. It will get easier as your DS gets older and understands more. My DS now runs into the house calling for me!

As said above by PP, try and think how lucky you and DS are for having a place he feels so secure and loved. You are not being replaced but in the time you need him to be looked after, isn't it great he's secure? Well done.

Big hugs to you. It is counterintuitive, but some children do this when they are overtired, if their nursery day is too long for them. I had a period of time, when my son was always getting upset on seeing me and wouldn't want to leave, and I felt so terrible and embarrassed. At first I assumed that he just wanted to stay to play longer. But I read somewhere the advice to try to pick him up earlier. As I was on maternity leave with my younger boy, I started picking him up 1 or 2 hours earlier than normal, and that worked like a magic. He would run to me happily and leave the nursery without crying or moaning. It was a while ago though, so I cannot remember where I read the advice, but it was a very convincing article.