3 yr old son violent to younger children

[Lizzystarr]

Had the most traumatic play date this morning. I have a 3 yr old son, and have a 8 week old son. Today we went on a play date to the seafront with a friend and her 2 year old boy. They started fighting over big stones on the beach and the my son snatched the huge rock, ran after the other boy with it in the air and was going to smash it in his face/head. I shouted and screamed so loudly that he stopped. I completely lost it, aggressively grabbed him, shouted at him , dragged him off the beach and made him stand by a wall. I later returned to calmly talk to him about his actions ( after I had stopped crying!)
I am litterally traumatised! How can he not understand the consequences when I have told him so many times about hurting other children. It’s the worst things he’s ever done!
Please help!

When yiu say you aggressively grabbed him OP, what exactly does this mean? Is this the first time you e seen him do something like this? Do you often lose it with him?

Very difficult for you but make a huge effort to keep calm / in control when such things happen. Certainly take action very quickly but keep a low calm voice and explain in simple terms why he cannot do that and remove him from the situation. Extremely difficult, I know.

It's difficult for you to give your attention to him while caring for a new baby, but your attention/time is what he needs. Try and have some special time all for him while the baby is sleeping. Maybe enlist the help of family (grannies love to help).

You're doing a good job. xx

That must have been an awful experience. I am sure though that your boy will have had no understanding of the potential consequences of his actions - he was clearly frustrated and grabbed the closest thing to hand. My son at that age would not understand the difference between throwing a soft ball or a rock (and actually still probably wouldn't at 4). He is only 3 - it would be a rather more serious matter if he was school age.

Yes completely agree at 3 yrs he wouldn't understand the consequences of his actions ...but they should understand when you stop them and tell them why in simple terms.

The fact you say you have already told him so many times about hurting other children makes me think he's doing it for your attention, albeit negative attention. So maybe giving more attention when he's being good will help. x