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Original poster

Advice for mum of very active boys

35 replies

cakesandchocolate · 10/05/2007 20:54

DS1 is 2and a half and, whilst awake, is continually on the go. He has selective hearing down to a fine art and never ever does as he's asked first time. I feel like I am always threatening him with punishment to keep him in line. I think I am fairly consistent with boundaries but, as I say, have to be banging on all the time for them to be adhered to! Examples are - will not lie down to change nappy, when I get him down he will wriggle and kick (picture the scene with poo everywhere)- running off in shops - pushing toys into DS2's face, tummy, back.. (he's 7 months) - persistent in doing something I have asked him not to until we really fall out. I know (i think!)this all sounds like normal toddler behaviour but I do feel like I struggle with him more than other mums seem to with children of the same age. He does recognise when he has been mean or naughty and will readily apologise.With other people (other than me and dh) he is polite and sweet and does as he's asked!
Generally he has loads of energy runs and climbs everywhere, but can concentrate well with books/puzzles. He sleeps well (7.30 til 6.30 and an hour in the day which I have to wake him from)
DS2 seems to be following in his footsteps energy and activity wise - he's 7 months, doesn't sit still, has been crawling for a month and pulls himself to stand whenever he can.
I'm knackered!!!

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PeachyChocolateEClair · 10/05/2007 20:56

He sounds pretty normal to me!

Might try to skip any additives he's havuing in case thats exaccerbating it but otherwise healthy boy (and I have 3 such )

October · 10/05/2007 20:57

Message withdrawn

Washersaurus · 10/05/2007 21:04

My DS is just like this, he is always on the go. I thought I must be doing something wrong as he never listens to a word a say (usually until I end up shouting it) I even see a smile on his face sometimes when he is ignoring me - what a relief to find out it is fairly normal behaviour.

TheGoddessBlossom · 10/05/2007 21:05

cakes - my DS1 i 2.8 and EXACTLY as you desribe. I also have a 9 month old, who is very placid AT THE MOMENT but only cos he hasn't mastered crawling yet.

DS1 very rarely does what he is told the first time. eg -

don't touch the toilet roll Harry you don't need it. Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH IT I SAID!!

you know the drill.

He never stops,unless, out of necessity, I put a fave TV prog of DVD on, and I save TV for just such occasions, otherwise I would never get showered, dressed, meals cleaned away or out the door.

You boy sounds entirely normal to me - i combat his energy by being outside ALOT, and letting him run and run and run.....

MrsDiorKeanuReeves · 10/05/2007 21:05

Yes, running...always good.

DeviousDaffodil · 10/05/2007 21:07

My ds are now 4 and 6.
Boys are like dogs you need to get them outside at least once a day and run them ragged!

Rantum · 10/05/2007 21:09

Sounds like my ds. Advice? Hmmmmmm, get back to you when I have my own epiphany!

Actually, all I can suggest is to do as many activities with ds1 as possible. Trips to the park, Toddler swimming, gymnastics if you have a group locally, Mother and Toddler Groups.

Just do as many energy burning activities as possible!

apeainapod · 10/05/2007 21:12

I have:

DS1 is 4
DS2 is 3
DD1 is 20 months
DD2 expected in Nov

DS2 is an absolute bloody nightmare at the moment. He is either running around as if he has been given a load of additives intravenously or he is crying 24 hours a day because he wants what everyone else has and never gets his own way.

Having spoken to other mums at school we figured 2003 was just a bad vintage!! I have no idea when it will end but hopefully it will.........very very soon.

Unfortunately I think until the age of 18 we are always going to be suffering with the 'it's their age' syndrome.

bran · 10/05/2007 21:14

Yes, he sounds like a typical boy.

DS (nearly 3 yrs) responds quite well to being given a choice. So for instance if he is running away in a shop I'll give him a choice of walking beside me nicely or being strapped in the buggy, I always end by saying "It's your choice, which do you want". You do have to follow through consistently for this to work though and be able to ignore the indignant screaming at first.

I used to really, really hate the struggle at nappy change time, so I bought a changing mat with straps. I didn't actually have to use it very often after the first couple of weeks as ds learned that if he struggled I would strap him down, and if he didn't then I wouldn't.

CorrieDale · 10/05/2007 21:17

Exercise, exercise, exercise! DS is 22 months, and a bundle of energy. He's generally bouncing off the walls by 9.30am. I spend A LOT of time outside with him. Fresh air seems to double up on the exercise effect.

The following activities have proved effective: swimming, chasing squirrels - especially when they're the kind that give the chaser a sporting chance!, chasing ducks, hens, pigeons (you need a lot of pigeons for this though because they tend to fly away, thereby not giving a sporting chance), the park (if it contains lots of things to climb on), bouncy castles. We also take him for lots of walks.

Bouncy castles are especially good because there's generally a seat nearby for the poor knackered pregnant mother.

Original poster
cakesandchocolate · 10/05/2007 21:18

Thanks for the reassurance! We do a lot of activities and are outside a lot (not much housework gets done!)
I tried to do some more structured indoor stuff - he's def worse when has no directed activity for a while - so got the paints out... fun for a while then when he got bored of it, ended up with paint on the chairs, paint on the floor, and my voice hoarse from shouting - straight to the sink to clean your hands, straight to the sink I SAID STRAIGHT... etc.
Hey ho, it all washed off!

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Original poster
cakesandchocolate · 10/05/2007 21:21

The strappy change mat sounds good - where can I get one?

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Original poster
cakesandchocolate · 10/05/2007 21:24

CorrieDale - I found being pregnant with DS2 soooo hard whilst running after DS1. The first few moths after he was born was easier than being preggers as I could put him down to do the running!

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Washersaurus · 10/05/2007 21:26

Cakes: Honestly - that sounds like a rainy day in our house, only DS would have painted himself and the cats too.

We also do loads of outside activities (I made him run to the shop and back with me earlier in the rain ), but like you, as soon as he is not being directed everything turns to chaos and destruction!

Very difficult to cope with when pregnant and hormonal I can tell you!

deuxcheekymonkeys · 10/05/2007 21:26

sounds like my 2! DS1 is 3 and 6m and DS2 is 10m....Im on the go all day long and my DS1 seems to be the only child with excess energy! I even suspected he was hyperactive....took him to the Dr who just gave me a knowing smile! Have you got him in a nursery yet? A couple of sessions a week will give you a break and him the chance to run like a loon.....otherwise I agreed that lots of fresh air and excercise is the way forward!

Bamzooki · 10/05/2007 21:43

You know how there are people that do a Dog Walking service? Can't we have something like that for small boys??
There are times that I am simply too knackered/have too many jobs at home to want to go out AGAIN, but it is just so NOT worth the caged animal antics if I don't......

Washersaurus · 10/05/2007 21:45

Bring back the sunshine I say so I can stick him out in the garden for a bit to run off some energy

gochick · 10/05/2007 21:56

I walk my 3 year old up hill and down dale as much as poss as well as nursery, gym tot classes, swimming, trips to park etc. He's a vibrant,noisy,little boy and is a constant challenge to keep up with. Still in nappies too, and have to go ten rounds with mike tyson to change him.

elastamum · 10/05/2007 22:02

I love the boys are like dogs analogy. I used to take my two boys out to the park every day to burn off some energy before they wrecked the house. Now they are at school and I do 3-4 miles every morning with our 6 month old puppy dog to stop her wrecking the house

Original poster
cakesandchocolate · 10/05/2007 22:05

One of the reasons I am keen to potty train ASAP, but alas, he's showing absoutely no signs of being ready.
Try and walk a lot, but this in itself is a pain as he runs off a lot - forward, backwards, into everyone else's gardens etc etc. Takes a v long time to get anywhere and usually I end up shoving him in the buggy out of frustration!

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bran · 10/05/2007 22:06

Rabbitts changing mat with straps. It is a bit expensive for a changing mat, but then you've got another active ds who will be in nappies for quite a while to come so it could be worth its weight in gold.

elastamum · 10/05/2007 22:07

My sympathy cc. Unfortunately they save all the worst behaviour up for mum as she is the safest option as they now her the best. At least the dog still thinks Im boss

Original poster
cakesandchocolate · 10/05/2007 22:10

Thaks bran. Just been on website - mat looks great but don't know if I can get past the 'no bumps a daisy after a woopsie' tag line!!!
Also - don't they just roll over and take the mat with them?

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Washersaurus · 10/05/2007 22:15

I have visions of my DS doing a turtle impression crawling/running around with one of these mats strapped to him .

bran · 10/05/2007 22:19

No, they can't roll over because the mat is rigid with padding on top. Because it doesn't flex the child can't twist it at all, even if you're using it on a soft surface like a bed or a sofa. Believe me, ds really, really tried but he never managed to turn a nappy change into chaos when he was in it.