5yo DD struggling emotionally

[SlumMumBum]

I'm wondering whether I'm overthinking or if I have cause for concern. I've never had a 5 yo before so not sure if this is normal behaviour!

DD is almost 5, started school in September and to be honest, has struggled emotionally. She was thriving in a small nursery and had most definitely out grown it. However, she has found School physically demanding. While she is doing well with reading, writing, etc, She is exhausted and we have had some pretty awful behaviour as a result.

She seems to be having difficult making friends - she had two very strong friendships at nursery and seems a little lost without them. Having said that, she was constantly squabbling with them!

She is quite intense with her new friends - she frequently tells on others, has power struggles with some of the stronger personalities. Today she spent the day with a couple of girls from her class and she said they didn't want to play with her and didn't like her games.

I'm just a bit concerned that she is struggling with friendships and wondering what I can do to help her. Play dates always seem to end in conflict which makes me reluctant to organise them.

I suppose I wanted to gauge whether this behaviour is normal or if I have cause to be concerned?

I think playdayes can often disintegrate at this age. Children seem to get excited and then later overtired. If she’s struggling, I’d keep out of school activities to a minimum and make sure she has plenty of downtime and goes to bed early.

If you are concerned, it could be worth speaking to her teacher after the Easter break

Perhaps you can save play dates for inset days and school holidays instead?

My dd would come home with lots of stories about playground drama. We ended up talking a lot about not wasting precious playtime arguing with unreasonable people who didn't understand or care that they were being unreasonable. They always made up the next school day which is a relief.

Thank you both for your responses. Yes I'm trying to keep activities to a minimum after school - my husband and I both work so she goes to after school club a few times a week. I figure she plays with children there so they can act as play dates.

I think I'll raise with the teacher if she has any specific concerns about her making friends. It's also useful to explain that it's not worth wasting time squabbling.

Perhaps some of this is down to my own anxiety around making friends. At the moment she just seems so affronted by everything her classmates do, it seems to be stopping her from forming close friendships. Or maybe I am expecting too much from her and this is the way children at this age play together.