Anyone else given up on swimming lessons?

[SleepFreeZone]

I feel totally defeated. This is the third thread I’ve written on this subject over 2/3 years here.

My son is 5, NT, doing well at school, but will not engage in swimming lessons. No fear whatsoever he just wants to lark about, throw himself under the water and thrash about.

We started off taking him swimming ourselves but he was a real danger to himself so started lessons locally. He had about eight months of 1-1/2-1 lessons with a reputable swimming academy who ended up telling me I was wasting my time as he didn’t want to engage with them. We’ve now done about a year of group lessons at a local private school. Small groups of children, move facilities. He hasn’t progressed at all, still learning about and in the beginners class with kids a year younger.

So I’ve pulled him out but I have guilt. I don’t know whether I should try something else or just leave it. His little friend who started at the same time as him with the first swim academy is now about to complete his fourth badge and is swimming properly. What do I do?!

• lovely facilities

I gave up after my DD then aged 6 had been having lessons for about 9 months. She was doing well swimming but refused to jump in the pool. The instructor would make her stand on the side for the whole lesson if she didn't jump in. I felt I was wasting money. I realise that swimming is a life skill that everyone should have, but being able to jump in a pool would not actually be that beneficial. I would be more concerned about her being able to get out!!!

Op sorry if you've been through this before but it seems odd that his behaviour is so consistently poor in swimming when it's good and he has no issues elsewhere. What are his physical skills like in other areas? Have you tried to dig a bit deeper to find the reasons behind his reluctance? I'm assuming consequences for poor behaviour are in place, is he sorry and promising to do better next lesson or is he defiant? You say there's no fear issues but are you sure? Fear looks different in different people?
Don't feel guilty about giving it a rest if you really have tried anything (my dad didn't learn until he was 45!!) but if you haven't done already you may want to explore a bit further before your next try.

My 8 year old has autism and will not listen to swimming instructors even in one to one situations. We go swimming with him twice a week and just enjoy messsing about in the pool. He only recently took his arm bands off as, after spending so much time in the water, he managed to learn the doggy paddle by himself. He can get from one side of the pool to the other this way. When he's older he might get lessons to improve his technique but at least he can swim a bit in case he ever falls into a river or something.

I had to give up OP. My oldest DD hated them....so I got her a private teacher at great expense and she had lessons in a private gym pool.

Wouldn't even get in the water. Went to three lessons and the teacher took all that time to get her IN the water. She wouldn't swim or move from the side.

She's 13 now and we live in Oz so it's not ideal but she brazens it out...when school have water based events, she just sits out. She's not ashamed...she just says "No...I hate the water."

None of her mates laugh or anything.