How do I come back from this?
Was having a typically shit evening with 3-yr-old ds refusing to come down to dinner, baby screaming, then ds threw water all over the floor and something we'd borrowed off a friend so I just lost it.
I bellowed at him and smacked the side of his head - not hard, but enough to shock him.
When we'd calmed down I apologised then at bedtime talked about it and said I wourld never do it again.
Thing is we are trying to get him to stop hitting which he does to see our reaction. I know he'll now try and provoke me to do it again so I'm really kicking myself, he'll probably go on and on about it too as he likes to argue about why he is allowed to do things (as well as everything else under the sun).
I feel so terrible that I did this to my ds who was once my precious baby that I'd never dream of harming! I do sometimes hurt him when trying to e.g. Grab him to stop him running out in the road or carry him up to time out but I explain that that is an accident. I can't dismiss this as an accident.
Dp is away and I'll have to tell him when he comes back :(