seeking advice regarding my 2 year old

[dcsmifsud]

Hi, I’m looking for advice to do with my 2 year old daughter. She’s usually very well behave & quite pleasant to be around. About 3/4 weeks ago she had a dentist appointment and the dentist advised to take her dummy away due to it affecting how her teeth are being shaped. I followed the advice & the dummy was banished. At first she was quite good about it but still at times asking for it. Over the weeks her behaviour started getting worse, she winges & cries constantly & is hitting out quite a lot & having tantrum up on tantrum.
This evening after a full day of wining, crying & tantrums including hitting out, my hubby had enough and gave her the dummy.
After a few minutes, she picked it up ran to her bed & took herself to sleep.
I’m concerned that it is now going to be much more difficult to cut the dummy out again. Saying that I am very concerned with the behavior she was displaying due to not having the dummy. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I’m fighting a lost battle & am exhausted by it all

Maybe just let her have the dummy at night in bed for the next wee while? If it helps settle her and it has a positive impact on her behaviour then I’d let her have it at night and maybe at naptime? You can always fight the nighttime battle in a couple of months once she’s got used to not having it during the day.

I think the fact that you kept the dummy says alot. If it's no more dummy then it's no more dummy, should have gone in the bin 3 weeks ago. If the dentist has said it's affecting her teeth then you need to just bin it and be done with it. Treat the bad behaviour as a separate thing and don't use not having the dummy as an excuse.
No giving into tantrums and whining and using the naughty step or time out as a consequence for the bad behaviour would be my suggestions. Stick at it and be strong and hopefully you will see an improvement. If not then try and find other solutions.

Yes I was considering doing that

I know your dentist knows best but to be honest if I took my 2 year olds dummy away she just wouldn't understand. I think they are so young still and I'm sure others will have had success at ditching it at this age but I know I couldn't do it. I would try limiting the useage too as that is better than nothing!

Personally I would limit it to night times until she is old enough to willingly do the dummy fairy or similar. DD1 was 2.5 when she chose to give them up to the fairy, but we'd discussed it from when she turned 2. We gave her an Argos catalogue when it was first discussed and explained she could choose a gift from there which the fairy would exchange for her dummies. So a good deal of bribery but it was ultimately her choice and not distressing. We then binned the dummies to avoid any moments of weakness (from either side!).
Do they have any other attachments to focus on when they can't have the dummy? Both DCs finally adopted a favourite cuddly around the time we reduced dummy use to sleeps (try to encourage a toy that is cheap and easy to replace/buy spares...).

That sounds like a good strategy. Were trying to limit it to just night time. If the decision was solely mine I would have stuck with it & not given it back. She does have cuddly toys but nothing she’s attached to & usually all get thrown out of bed at bedtime