How to deal with 3 year old's irritating behaviour

[Massala]

My 3 year old is not especially naughty, but she is hugely irritating to both family members and friends. I feel so sorry for her as it's like she knows no other way to behave, but it's impacting on the way others relate to her, including us, her parents.

• she constantly asks questions repeatedly to anyone and everyone she meets, speaking loudly over every one else. DH and I find this utterly draining.

-Ask her not to touch something, she will antagonistically continue touching it or pretending to then look for your reaction.

• she follows adults around the house. My friend commented on this after looking after her, she tried to make light of it but I could tell it had really annoyed her. I think she probably bombarded her with questions at the same time.

• she can not appreciate personal space and often,children will push her away from them.

• she will chastise other children speaking in silly voices or repeating their name over and over as if trying to antagonize them.

I want to address some of this as I think it's really going to impact on friendships the longer it continues. I find it draining on my days off and find myself quietly seething at each "mummy mummy mummy mummy" which is how she addresses me. She never just says it once and it's always so loudly and constant. I love her confidence and smiley nature, but these traits just don't seem to be helping her at all. Ideas?

She sounds like a normal 3 year old to me.

She's 3, I am not sure what you are expecting? She just needs your attention and lots of it, she is discovering new things every day. It is a drain yes, but one day it gets better

I think Oysterbabe and NoKnit may be dismissing your concerns too easily.

For years many people dismissed my concerns with similar comments. I imagine they thought it was poor parenting or me just being impatient or they were trying not to worry me. They were wrong. She has ASD and various other issues. She struggles socially and can be extremely irritating. She needs a lot of support with socialising and struggles with friendships.

Yes, three year old's behave like this - but possibly not to the extent your daughter does it. I would see a HV to check your concerns and because if there is an issue then early diagnosis and support may help.

We do 'mummy's quiet time' where she has to go upstairs and play on her own or watch TV/Games consoles.

Thank you Pammy.
We have mentioned this to the HV. She said that DD is "different" but she wasn't concerned about ASD particularly at this point. This was around 9 months ago.
Her preschool teacher said that she's often "in her own little world" but hasn't specified worries of ASD yet. However, it's definitely something that crosses my mind from time to time.
I was worried posters may come back with "she's 3" but she is most definitely quite different to other 3 year olds.

I think there are many things that children grow out of as they get older and this is why early concerns are dismissed. I think sometimes you need to trust your instincts.

I have to remember that my daughter can't help it. She can't help being irritating or antagonistic. She needs support to socialise.