keeping a toddler in his buggy........

[winnie1]

Hi guys, practical advice needed before I give up taking my son into shops for ever!!! He is 22 months and a live wire and loves going out. He doesn't even mind being in his buggy as long as we are mobile and we are not somewhere like a woodland walk where he just wants to explore (which is fair enough). The problem is that when I take him into town the moment we enter a shop he gets himself out of his buggy,...again and again and again.... he screams adn shouts and hits me and I simply tell him why he can't and strap him back in. By the 3rd time or so I am virtually forcing him into the buggy as he fights to stop me. This is such a nightmare. I have reduced my visits to town with him to once a week but I find I can't actually do what needs to be done because of his behaviour. I have tried walking him but this turns into a disaster to as he can't go the distance so eventually just sits down and doesn't move but demands to be carried. I don't drive (and anyway town is on my doorstep it would be ridiculous to drive a car that short distance)... please, please, please... any tips?

winnie does he physically undo his harness and wriggle out by himself?
If so what about fixing him in more firmly with a set of reins?
My dd was a bit like thus regards her high chair so we tied her in quite tightly with reins. After a couple of yelling sessions she worked out she could not escape no matter what and stopped even trying.I realise we did not have the cringe factor of having to do this publicly but it might be worth trying.

My son (19 mo.) is like yours except that he hasn't quite figured out how to undo his buggy straps while he is in it. I compromise and let him out occasionally in a store and get him to push the buggy. It doesn't work for long and I still have to keep an eye on him all the time, but it does let me get a bit of shopping done as after he's pushed for awhile he will then sit in his buggy without screaming for a while.

What about giving him things to look at and play with in the buggy so he wants to stay? A buggy book or some toys attached with toy ties?

Also food! Usually does the trick for us - whenever we go out we take some fruit or a little bowl with some cereal in that can be picked at.

Don't know if that's any help, I've never had to deal with this situation myself

Ohhh, this rings so many bells. I've had many similar experiences (and occasionally still do) with my daughter (now 27 months). First, it did get better with time, as I'm now able to reason with her more (along the lines of - if you're good in this shop, then we'll go and feed the ducks) so don't despair of ever doing any shopping ever again. Secondly, the things that worked for us were books - taking along a supply of small board books, or just picking up random leaflets to thrust into small hands just before rows started. Also getting her to carry her own small bag and 'help' Mummy worked quite well (bag not emerging untill we entered portals of shop). I hate to say it, but biscuits/ dried apple rings/ drink worked too as a buggy incentive. I did also tend to tie/attatch by those cheap hook keyring things absolutely everything to the buggy so that during strops I wasn't constantly having to retrace steps to discover where that particular small book had got to.

A major breakthrough for us was when she was big enough to hold the money at till time, and pay the assistant, without me worrying that she'd eat/dispose of/choke on coins as we travelled around the shop. As she's got older I now also cart around with me small crayons and a tiny notepad, so she can draw if bored in shops - so that might work too?

Good Luck, anyway - I know that feeling of trying to carry a child, push a buggy, and carry shopping all too well.

Hi Winnie,
I'm another firm believer in food! When my ds was in this phase, I used to only go shopping at meal times. I would pack an interesting breakfast/lunch in little bags and that would give me abit of time to shop. I only gave him the bags as we entered a store, or if he was OK, then the minute he started his protests! I also used to tend to vear towards the more chewy things to eat.. ie, raisins, little boxes of fiddley cereals etc.
Good Luck!

Winnie, My toddler is exactly like this. It is hellish, isn't it?

Practical tips:

Yes, food - go for things that take a long time to eat. Crisps and munchies - I used to get the Boots toddler versions. Also, an ice cream, though the disadvantage of this is shop assistants will frown at you. I used to take a plastic pelican bib with me until my toddler could eat an ice cream without too much mess. Less messy - jelly sweets.

Check the straps, can they be any more secure - but I bet you've done this already!!

Buy a cheap toy when out - a desperate measure again, buy a £1.00 toy car. My son examines both the toy and the packaging, and this can buy me half and hour of peace.

Dress your son to wear bulky clothing - it helps jam him in, making escape bids more diffucult. This in on the assumption that your son wriggles out of the straps, rather than undoes them. Last summer I could hardly keep my son in his pushchair, then the winter came - he was dressed in more layors and suddenly my life became tons easier.

This summer I have been thinking of hunting out a padded sleeveless jacket. The weather is cool enough for this.

Last tip - I put him in a shoppers creche whenever possible. An hours fee isn't far off the amount I would spend on toys, crisps and drinks.

Must dash because we're off shopping this morning - eek!!!

Just out of curiosity but has anyone else found that Mamas & Papas Plikos are particularly easy for the little blighters to escape from? I ended up buying a Maclaren Daytripper for DS2 and although he can get out of the straps for some reason he doesn't climb out, perhaps it's because there's less to get a foothold on?

Thanks everyone for your words of advice. We've tried some but not all and I shall persevere. Frankly, I am simply glad I am not alone because from the looks and comments I get you'd think I was the worst mother in the world! Can I ask what do other parents do when there toddler has a tantrum on the floor of a shop and simply lies there screaming and shouting? I tend towards letting him get on with it until he has calmed down although sometimes I simply have to man handle him into his buggy because he is causing an obstruction or about to start destroying the place.

Tigermoth, I had a feeling you'd have some advice as I've reread the thread on keeping a toddler in a car seat - we have this problem too - and it seems that our youngest are very much a like! I love him so much but just getting through the ordinary things in the day is an absolute challenge!

winnie, in answer to your question, I manhandle my toddler into his buggy PDQ, while telling him either a) a lie ie there are lots of toys to see just outside or b)(if I'm desperate) a bribe ie sit in your buggy and you'll get an ice cream.

Going back to a). To make this less of a lie, I do try to find some toys for us to look at. But, very important this, we then swing past them very quickly while I chat to him about toys nineteen to the dozen in the hope of distracting him from the real toys just feet away. Stopping the pushchair so that the toddler can examine the toys will usually lead to an escape bid and you're back to square one. Hope this makes sense!

Message withdrawn

Winnie - I just remembered another thing I found helpful as a buggy incentive, namely a balloon. Not actually buying one for her when out (I tried to avoid buying her things when she was stropping) but getting a big bag of economy ones to keep at home, popping a few into a bag and inflating one, to keep her entertained in the shop (tied it with string to the buggy!).

Personally, when she goes into full-flow tantrum in a shop I try to ignore it (and the glances from interested spectators). Easier said than done - staring at the ceiling, going 'dum, de dum, it isn't my child, really it isn't, it just happens to be at my feet screaming'. If it didn't stop after a while then I simply picked her up and carted her out. I have vivid memories of carrying a screaming, kicking child, tucked under one arm in the manner of a parcel, through a quiet, genteel section of the poshest department store in our area, whilst trying to adopt a nonchalant air! And why, why are there always at least two impeccably behaved children of a similar age sitting quietly in their buggies when mine throws a wobbly? And at weddings and other social functions!

Bloss - your idea of a hipseat sounds marvellous. I'm pregnant with my second, and currently looking for a better baby-carrier (I was on a really tight budget with my first, so had to opt for really cheap and cheerful, and although she loved it, it didn't last long, alas). I'm not sure what one is, though - is it one of the better baby-slings - like the one top of the review on this site, because if so, I'll defn invest in one.

Havn't read all of this, so excuse if someone has already said this. I heard of someone putting an elastic hair tie on the shoulder straps, so that once the child is in it holds the 2 straps tighter onto their shoulders (tie sits behind thier shoulders). Never tried it myself but it sounds like it might work. As with dd2, once her arms are free, I've had it!

If you are looking for backpacks, I still carry my 2 1/2 year old dd around in our Bushbaby carrier - it is excellent. It also has a huge pocket so you can get all the nappy etc stuff in (I also have ds in the buggy, nearly 6 months) Saves you hassling with a nappy bag too. I swap the two of them around between the buggy and the backpack, but when I am going into a shop where I KNOW dd is going to have a strop than I make sure she is up there, out of the way!