2 year old won't share and dislikes other children

[Oysterbabe]

My DD turned 2 at the end of December. She's really bad at sharing and declares everything "Mine!"; toys, the swings and climbing frame at the park, drinks, shoes... Almost everything! If anyone else then touches them we have shouting and tears. How can I help her to learn to share?
She's had a lot of upheaval in a short space of time quite recently and I wonder if it's related. Over 2 weeks we moved house, had a new baby and she moved into a different room at nursery.

She's always been a shy and timid child but she's particularly bad with other children. If they come close to her or try to play with her she cries. She's much better with adults. Apparently she does ok at nursery but it's taken a long time for her to tolerate the other children there, and it is tolerate, I think she'd be happier if they weren't there. Any advice?

It does sound like a lot of change poor little love. What have the Nursery suggested?

No proper advice. But the whole sharing thing is a complex idea - that frankly not many adults get either! My DS found 'taking turns' a much easier concept to grasp. And was also allowed to say that some things were not for sharing/taking turns with (ie his special/favourite toys). 2 sounds incredibly young and I think that you are right with the upheavals having a major impact. Good suggestion to ask the nursery. I personally would have found just one of those changes a big deal. Perhaps time will make things easier? Is she every day in nursery? Perhaps some quiet time with you (and the new baby) might help. Sorry not to have anything real to suggest.

no advice but this is so normal at two a lot of children don't become social with their peers until three. I know when you are at the stay and play it feels like your child is the only one who won't share! also I wouldn't expect my child to give up a toy the minute another child wants it they will have to wait their turn!

I think difficulty sharing is really common. There's a blog called Your Parenting Mojo, which has an episode explaining why toddlers find it so hard - it's just cognitively really difficult for them to grasp ownership, that ownership doesn't mean you get it all the time, that you'll get it again when it's your turn etc. Worth a listen.

I read an article that said the children don’t really understand sharing properly til they’re closer to 7 years old! Doesn’t mean we have licence to stop encouraging the sharing though. I do think it’s important to promote sharing from a very early age, just don’t be surprised when little ones don’t like or get it!

DN is very into ‘mine’ at the moment as is my own DS. I did read a great technique on here which was if children are fighting over toys to set a 2-3 minute timer and the toy has to be handed over at the end of it. We’ve had good results from doing this lately.

Totally normal.

Sounds normal to me too!
Don't worry OP, in about 18m you'll have two children holding on to the same item screaming MIIIIIIIINE!!! in ear-shattering unison (I have a two year gap too)

My son is 2 years 8 months, and has definitely gained hugely in social confidence in recent months. I took him to a wedding last weekend, lost him immediately at the reception and after a few minutes panic located the little toad happily dancing in the middle of a flock of little bridesmaids. Six months ago though he would have been the kid sitting under the table making brrm brrm noises with a toy car and crawling away in horror if a strange child tried to come and play with him.

Shrieks of "MINE!" are definitely totally normal at that age. I don't think I've ever met a two year old who didn't at least suspect that the whole world belongs to them!