5wk baby bedtime sleep rountine is 6.30pm to early? as wont sleep

[Emma07]

Hi, my DD is 5wks old and we are trying to set up a bedtime rountine starting at 6.30pm with a feed, cuddle, story and lay in mosses basket in dimply lit room. Its taking 2-2.5hrs to get her to sleep, is this normal or is she too young to be doing this sort of routine? This the longest time during the whole day which she is awake, and the only time we really have unconsolable crys in that usually crys for upto an hour which I can calm her after 5 minutes, she is asleep in my arms, I lay her in the cot and bang on 5 minutes late she wakes up arms flaying. We have tried gentle cot rocking, patting, shhhhh, normally only a mummy cuddle will settle her and we start over again..... any suggestions? She is starting to nap ok in the daytime from 8.30-10am ish, and again for a couple of hours from 12-2pm and sometimes 30 minutes at 4-5pm, but I think she is just getting overtired???

go with the flow and enjoy the cuddles, she is only going to be this small once.

My ds quickly got into a routine - probably not so different from your dd actually, he went at 6pm (we are trying to make it 7pm now with the early nights and so dh gets to see him after work). My HV told me I should be trying to get ds into a routine at 2wk old. A lot of people on here and in RL frown upon the whole routine thing so early on but I can tell you, for us, it has been a godsend, it really has.

Have you tried swaddling you dd - my ds used to sleep much better when he was wrapped in his blanket for the first couple of months. - Do you bath her in your bedtime routine? I found it helped with ds. I didn't get ds out of his cot when he cried, I would place my hand on his chest and say shhhhhhhhh really quietly over and over, took ages to work but it did with perseverance (Baby Whisperer tip)

i would not try and get such a young baby into a routine, it is probably going to work for a week or two, then as she hits a growth spurt or gets a cold, or starts teething, you will be back to no routine!

go with the flow, feed, cuddle, and she will sleep when she is ready.....if it is taking her 2.5 hours to get to sleep, i would say she is not tired !! by all means, do the bath, feed, cuddle thing, but don;t expect adherence to a routine from a 5 week old

let her guide the way

Must add - ds obviously wasn't sleeping right through from 6pm but he would be in his cot from then, he'd wake about 10pm for another feed and cuddles. The routine did just kind of come, we never forced it but after a few nights he wouldn't go past 6pm and hasn't done pretty much since - unless, like Lulumamma said he had a growth spurt/teething etc.

Thanks for advice, its just the only time of the day when I feel a bit of a failure as a mum and normally end up tears at some point (like just now) cause my cuddles & feeds stop working and she just crys and crys and flayys around in my arms or the basket, my dh is great and takes over to give me a 5min break then i start trying to calm her again..... off to try again now ....

Awww Emma, I can't begin to tell you the amount of times I cried at the beginning, generally through lack of sleep and sometimes helplessness. Dh would often take over at this point and I would feel even more sad. I remember coming on here a few times at my worst and evryone would comment that I was doing a great job and that it does get better. You know what? They were sooo bloody right

Of course you're not a failure. You do your best, and some babies still cry. But it won't last long, and you'll soon forget it used to happen. As for routine, most experts say that it's not worth trying for a routine till about 3 months old. Things change so often and so much in those early days - any routine you had would be out-of-date before the day was over!

6.30 seems a bit early to me...and at 5 weeks you really still have to go with the flow, she's too little to be settled yet. They are often fretful in the evenings even if they don't have colic - it's all the stimulation they've had during the day, takes them a while to wind down and switch off.

Emma I started to get my lo ready for bed around 6pm (I don't want to use the word routine] He was 5 weeks. We took a bath together dh or myself would get in aswell. Dimmed lights/candles and a few drops of lavender. I sometimes breastfed in the bath aswell. I even started reading a story early on. I would put him upstairs in our room so dh and I could have dinner. Of course he was too young too sleep through and he still wakes up at least once but it has worked in the long run as we now have our evenings free though hes an early riser. I found it very stressful in the early evening so you are not alone!

Far too young in my opinion. Do please be careful that you don't miss out on her tiny babyness (she'll never be this little again) by trying to fit her into a routine. Just go with the flow - love her, cuddle her, feed her and gaze at her. She still doesn't understand that she isn't part of you any more - don't expect too much of her! It really is only for a very short time - before you know it you'll be worrying about year 6 SATS!

you could try taking your lead from your dd, if she seems very alert then try to push the bedtime back a bit later, a real 'routine' will come later
with my dd I didn't especially plan on a particular bed time but she seems to have settled on after tea time so at around 6.30 we do bath and scream (tires her out so great!) then feed, then I put her down, then she plays quietly by herself (only time she coos to herself really) for ages, then cries so I go in and feed her again. this goes on til she goes to sleep. so it kind of sounds like your dd really. I don't even bother with the shushing etc. some days are great but tonight for example I was in and out from 7 to 8.40. the only thing I wouldn't do unless desperate is take her out of the room once she's in it.
btw the reason why we started the bed thing was that at about 4 weeks old she got really uptight being downstairs being rocked to sleep and just wanted to be left alone to switch off a bit by herself.

Emma, I do feel for you, I am due again in a few weeks and plan to do a feed/bath/nightclothes routine from early on (mainly because I have 3 already and will be doing it with them). Insofar as I am able, I hope to go with the flow with regards to sleeping patterns with lots of cuddles and co-sleeping. I have found that things change at 6 weeks and get easier, and again at around 12, when things might become a bit more routine.
Please don't be hard on yourself, just take the time in these early days to enjoy your baby. They don't stay this tiny for long, drink in every minute you can is what I say! Good luck

we had a bed time routine that started at 9.45pm with bath, feed, cuddles and down in crib and only as ds started to sleep through longer did we bring the routine forward by 15minutes for a few nights and then a further 15 minutes until he was going to bed at 7pm I don't think he was going to bed at 7pm until he was a bout 4 months.

I did a routine (as such) with my dd, and she like your baby was great in the day , but would resist the bedtime one, it often is the most trickiest time to conquer as they are often a little colicky. I think your doing a great job, I would suggest letting your baby sleep a bit longer late afternoon say an hour between 4 and 5pm, this way, she will be able to last a little later . I disagree with some of the other posts that she is not tired, I think you are right that she is overtired. Also try massaging her after the bath especially her tummy, this does seem to settle them.

I did the same as chloe and wouldn't pick my dd up but would just soothe her with my voice and hand on her tummy, very gradually pulling away, the bedtime crying lasted 8 days, getting considerably less each night. She is now 3 and a half, and I can honestly say I have never looked back since, she loves her bed and has done from 6 weeks -obviously didnt sleep through from that early, I did a sleep feed at 11pm.

If you do want your evenings to yourself to try and stick with it as it does pay off, if you let her sleep on you, this will solve the problem in the short term, but you will have to stop it at some point to get your evenings back.

Got a feeling I'm going to get shot down for my advice, Please be kind

Emma07, I agree with the other posters that your dd is too young for a 6:30 bedtime or routine.

How it works with babies' sleep is that when they are newborn, they can tolerate being awake for only short stretches. Then as the months go by, they can tolerate being up for longer stretches, and sleep less during the day. Although you find your dd is really only tired at 9-10 pm npw (heck, my 7 monther sometimes still goes to bed at 10 pm, if he has had good sleep during the day), as she stays awake during the day longer, her bedtime will slowly creep forward to around 7-ish. You can tell because she starts showing signs of tiredness earlier. You can try to limit your dd's sleep during the day if you want an early bedtime, but with such a little baby (and your dd is really just tiny), it is a bit much to expect if she starts fussing. If you can, just go with the flow and enjoy her babyhood.

All in good time. hth

I have always tried to follow a routine with my dd from birth. 7pm has always been her bedtime & she has always gone to sleep from a bath, bf & then in cot. In the early days she went to sleep from being fed, but as she has got older she has been able to stay awake longer & some nights she goes in the cot awake..she is 9months btw now, & she will whimper and chatter for 20mins before sleeping. In the early weeks I just fed her & put her down, when she woke I followed the same pattern bf until she had enough then put her down. She only ever woke once or twice for a feed & then back to sleep until 7am. Then she got to 5 months & all hell broke loose but I can be happy in the knowledge that the 1st few months were bliss!
I don't think it's too early to start a routine, but I am no expert. Just do what is right for you & your baby. Maybe 6.30pm is too early if she is having a 30min nap 4/5pm then she should be able to last until 7pm. Do you feed her before she goes down?

my advice is not to try anthing for at least 6 weeks

feed them, cuddle them whatever

are you breastfeeding? They tend to cluster feed every sodding 10 mins when very little

or have lots of small bottle feeds rather than one 6oz for eg (make 2oz bottles if you are formula so it does not end up down the sink)

then after about 6 weeks or so, I kind of routine starts but iirc from this house, nothing concrete for about 3 months

I sent myself insane with both - I mean you would have thought I would learn my lesson with the first really - so I would go with the flow

I think mine spent most of the early days asleep on my lap whilst I ate my dinner with one hand

xx

I always bathed my babies in the evening - seemed to settle them. I also swaddled them - some young babies waken themselves up with arm movements. It is really common for babies to cluster feed at this age in the evening. For a baby so young, if they don't settle in the evening I would go with the cuddles and extra feeds in the evening just now.

when my dd was 5 weeks she wuld go to bed at midnight. then it brough forward a couple of weeks later to 10, then 8 and it is about 7.30 now at 20 weeks.

Thanks for the support, she did settle at 10pm after another feed - I had fed her at 5pm, 6pm, 7.30pm and 8.30pm, as she does need to cluster feed, (during the day she goes 3-4hrs between feeds) then she was a dream overnight, I only fed at 10pm and 2am, 6am and she resettled after each quickley, but hey ho I'm learning this could all change tonight! I think we will stick with the bones of the routine we have but accept that evenings will be flexible! I dont always bath her as sometimes she loves it other times screams, so I take my cue from how she has been the lsat couple of hours. She is fast asleep now arrhhh after an hours walk around town in her paposs!