Soft play / toddler groups acceptable behaviour?!

[Coffeeandcake1]

I have a nearly 2 year old, gentle little boy. He plays lovely with his friends of the same age however he is can be shy at noisy toddler groups and doesn’t always like to join in because he’s a bit anxious about the more boisterous kids so am trying to build his confidence by taking him to soft play and quieter baby groups.
Several times now kids have snatched toys off him and pushed him over and he gets really upset. Same thing happened today but other mums don’t do anything, I said today ‘that’s not very nice’ and had a mouthful back from the Mum saying ‘my kid is only 2 aswell you know’
My question is what do you do in this situation? I know there will always be bumps and accidents but when Mums do nothing about snatching and pushing, do you just let the nasty kids continue and not say anything? I don’t want to have to leave each time this happens as am trying to get his confidence up? Any advice pls

So a few thoughts here - this is absolutely typical 2yr old behaviour imo and if your kid isn't snatching things now, they are likely to at some point in the near future. It's frustrating as we want our kids to be kind but for a while it's just a case of helping them learn how to behave kindly. You can gently say things like 'ds was playing with that, maybe you can have a turn next'. And you can calmly help your child learn to cope with things being taken from him by helping him understand the feeling - i.e. 'You're sad because someone took the teddy - never mind, we can play with this one instead'.

It sounds like you are feeling protective of your boy and getting a bit upset yourself when this happens - this will have an impact on his confidence. It's understandable as he's your precious wee guy, but if you think of it, the best way you can help him with these situations is being relaxed and confident about it yourself, modelling for him that it is possible to cope with things happening that he didn't want. Leaving because of this reinforces the idea that something bad has happened when it's a normal part of childhood and learning to negotiate relationships.

And lastly, I think less of the 'nasty kids' chat. Is that really how you want to teach your kid to think of others? I know you're just looking out for your own but they really are showing normal behaviour for their age.

Yes good advice thank you, I totally understand the behaviour is normal for this age and I’m sure my little boy will be doing it soon, what I don’t understand is the lack of any sort of involvement from the parents. If my DS ran over and pushed another child over on purpose I’d tell him we dont do that and maybe get him to say sorry or give a toy back if he’d snatched it but certain parents don’t say anything and so happens repeatedly. I try not to be over protective and carry on playing with something else but DS then just get really upset and clingy when it happens again and won’t play any more.
Ok so the term nasty was too harsh and I’d obv not say that in front of DS but other than the usual kids bumped by into each other and taking of toys some kids have been particularly aggressive and these are the ones I struggle with seeing hurt my LO when there’s no form of discipline from their parents

So I could have written this post myself 12 months ago! I got so sick of the pushing, shoving, not taking turns but really as they get bigger they get more confident and also I've just become more picky about where we go - avoid the playground during school holidays and go to softplay at the less busy times. Some children are super confident in soft play but I think just go with your child.

How i handle someone pushing or snatching from my son now - I'll just say a loud 'no thank you' or 'your turn next'. The poster above is right that all of this is normal for 2 year olds, and if your child isn't a pusher they might be a snatcher or puller.

In terms of parents not being involved - you don't know what sort of day (or night!) people are having. I had some tragic news about a close family members health yesterday and then my son hit someone who was snatching. Despite my apology to the mother and explanation of the situation she continued to glare at me and was pretty unpleasant when I tried to apologise again. You never know what is going on in people's lives. It's the first time I've cried in public in about ten years.