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Behaviour/development

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How to improve social and emotional skills in 3 year old

2 replies

Mamaalwaysworried · 15/03/2018 12:00

Should i be worried about my DD or just accept her as a bit strong willed and some what OCD.

She's 3.5 years old. Always has been quite strict in her ways and wants things in her own specific way. We never saw it as a cause and just tried to accomodate her as much as we could so she didn't get upset. I learnt to forsee issues and planned for them so to avoid tantrums or crying or whining.

Anyway, had a meeting with her nursery teacher recently and she mentioned that she'd like to see her improve on her social and emotional skills as she can get upset if certain things happen that don't suit her. These are examples:

  • Insists on taking her book and clothes bag home every day, even though she doesn't need to. All the kids leave them until the end of the week.
  • Insists on taking her nursery wellies back and forth from home/nursery every day, again, she doesn't need to.
  • Gets upset if her clothes/shoes/hair get wet or dirty etc and starts crying instead of explaining or asking the teacher calmly to change/fix/clean.
  • She's quite a fussy easter and doesn't like it if a certain food on her plate gets mixed or touched with the foods she does like, e.g. broccoli touching the fish etc and she'd get very upset over that.

Like i said, she's always been a stuck on her own ways and likes things in a particular way. My husband is exactly the same and I suppose without realising we've taught her our ways e.g. wipe hands immediatly, avoid getting dirty etc.

Should I be worried? Are these normal behavious? Does a 3 year old really know how to control their behaviour and ask for things calmly when something doesn't suit them?

The only thing that makes me even consider this an issue is because her teacher, who by the way is great and lovely, seemed to imply that she's the only one making such a fuss.

She is great with making friends, has a lovely set of friends at nursery and out of nursery, happily makes conversation with kids she doesn't even know. CAn get shy sometimes infront of adults that she's both familiar or unfamilar with but warms up pretty quickly. Her teacher said she's confident and happy.

What things can i do to help her improve her emotional and social skills? We have a loving home, she is great with her baby sister, we pay them both lots of attention etc. She does ballet, swimming and will be starting drama classes. I took her to all kinds of baby and toddler groups before she was etc.

Sorry for the long post. Any tips and advice woud be appreaciated.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 15/03/2018 20:42

Does a 3 year old really know how to control their behaviour and ask for things calmly when something doesn't suit them?. I’m no expert but in my very limited experience this would be a concern for me. At 3 she should be able to do this.

Have the nursery said what they are doing to help her? Is there a plan in place? Have they suggested ways that you can help at home? What has their SENCO said?

GuppieK · 19/03/2018 11:01

This sounds a lot like my almost 4yr old so following with interest. She has v fixed ideas of how she wants things and doesn’t seem as self reliant as others her age. She refused to stay at nursery today because she has it in her head she wants to stay for lunch like some of the other children. I’m worried about her being ready for school in Sep and conflicted on whether she is just emotionally immature or if I need to be firmer with her on things.

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