Step brother 11 touching sister 10- is it just Dr’s and nurses

[Ihatequeenbees]

So my daughter, now 10, had become increasingly withdrawn and cried constantly at nothing, suddenly didn’t want to go to school and was an overall mess. Something she hadn’t been before. I finally pushed and pushed and found out my step son, 11, was really bullying her and making her feel worthless, calling her fat etc. I dug a little deeper and it turned out he had been kissing her ‘front bottom’ on a few occasions and when she said no, he would promise to play Minecraft with her afterwards. She says he then didn’t play the game so the next time he asked she said no to being kissed down there. At this point he became very angry with her and said she couldn’t tell anyone or he would be so angry. I had spotted him glare at her often, but thought it was just a sibling thing (we have him 50% of the time). He then had the nerve a few weeks ago to look me in the eye with a big smile and say in a big fake/insincere voice to my daughter “shall we play Doctors?” She said a very fast “no” and withdrew to the computer to FaceTime her friends. I hadn’t realised what it meant at the time. On hearing my daughter pour all of this out to me I stayed at my sisters house that night and have decided to end my 2 year marriage. I wasn’t happy anyway (and I think my husband and his son may have undiagnosed Aspergers) but this was the final straw. Have I done the right thing or was this just a case of doctors and nurses..? I don’t have a son so I don’t quite understand what goes through an 11 year olds head.

Queen my post was a bit blunt and I apologise for that. You are dealing with an awful burden, please stay strong. You and DD are worth so much more than this man and his son.

That’s ok Penfold... I posted on here precisely for honest, unbiased opinions so thank you for taking the time to share yours. When you’re in a situation it’s much harder to see clearly.

You need to report it so both children get the help they need.
Are there other children who also need protecting - e.g. step-siblings in his mother's home?

There is a 2 year old boy at his mothers.

And just so everyone knows, I am reporting this. I am also going to see a therapist to discuss both my issues around this and my DD - and use my husbands credit card to pay for it!

One of the reasons I was unhappy in my marriage was because I could see the utterly dysfunctional relationship between my husband and his son. They are obsessed with playing table tennis every night, they argue - very nastily - constantly and then in between my husband is OTT lovely to him like a doting grandpa and sees no wrong. My husband prioritises him above everything else and when the son tells lies to boost his ego in front of us all my husband believes him. I cross check his lies with Mother’s at school and he is just fabricating things. Crazy things but there is a common theme. He claimed he had been singled out by a well known author who visited their school and was the only boy to be given a copy of the book. He told his father so proudly (also another way of belittling my DD) and his father received this news with such pride. I said, very nicely, oh come on, that doesn’t sound fair on everyone else, did you buy it? My husband was visibly angry with me doubting my step son. I didn’t say anything else and then I checked with another mother and every single child at the school had received a copy of the book. There is a sick preoccupation with appearing kind in the eyes of others and also for being singled out above everyone else for being special. Just all very odd behaviours. Thank god my DD and I are out of it.

And just so everyone knows I do have a hugely supportive family, and friends I chat to all day, even a good friend who is s therapist, but I really wanted the unbiased opinions I got here. Oddly, my therapist friend doesn’t think I should report this. She is all about protecting my DD and thinks I’ve successfully safe guarded her and should leave the rest of the nightmare to my husband. I think I can do both though. I can report it and walk away.

When you report to SS they will not be "constantly at your home" - they are massively over stretched so have a huge investment in getting the situation safe and stable so they can more on to other families. BUT they are a great gateway to services that your DD might need (for example she might be seen by CAHMS a lot quicker via a SS referrel than other routes).
They will also be the right people to intervene in your Step Son's life. To be honest there is something very wrong going on there. At his age there is still hope that an intervention could stop him on the road to becoming a serial sex offender. And if nothing else it could protect other children from him.

Please please report this.
He has been sexually abusing her. She is obviously and understanding very upset and needs professional help. It's excellent that your daughter trusted you enough to tell you, many suffer in silence due to embarrassment.
I have 11 year old son and a 8 year old daughter and can tell you " doctor's and nurses" is not a normal game for boys or girls this age. My son just wants to play Xbox and play on his bike.

You need to report this and get it nipped in the bud before he does it some other poor girl.
He needs to learn what he has been doing is absolutely not acceptable under any circumstances.
Nobody likes to think their son is capable of this, but I think your husband needs to wake up to the fact he is and he has. What does your step son's mum say? Has anyone told her?

Please report him from experience if you don't this will only get worse.

Just read the whole post.
Well done on contacting the NSPCC. You've done the right thing. 😘
I hope your daughter can get over this with the right help and support, and I hope your step son gets the help he needs too.

Thinking of you and your daughter and good luck. I think you're going to need it.