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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

ds won't play with any of his toys......

3 replies

oaktree · 04/05/2007 10:15

he's 3.5 , will read books but just ignores all his toys even if I try & start him of building a train track or whatever. he seems to want my undivided attention, which with a 10m old as well he is not going to get. I try at nap times etc to play with him, give him lots of praise when he does but nothing keeps his interest
normal behaviour? just a phase? what to do - its driving me mad!!

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twoisplenty · 04/05/2007 10:19

Both my youngsters went through a phase where they didn't want to play, just hang round my legs and want my attention. But if I played with him then he enjoyed playing with the toys. Does that sound the same?

If so, my approach (my mum advised me) was to be very firm and say, no I'm busy right now, go and find something, the toys are over there. He got the message quicker if I then ignored his whingeing. Even if he cried for attention, I would just point to the toys, and carry on washing up or whatever. It may sound harsh, but I couldn't be available to him all day long, and he needed to understand that he needed to play by himself as well.

Nanoon · 04/05/2007 14:31

oh Oaktree i could have posted this. My ds is 2.7 and not interested in his toys at all, he just wanted to play football ALL DAY LONG.

I can't get him interested in drawing, sticking, puzzles etc... and even if he does play with his toys for a nano second you can be sure that i have to play with him.

I try to do the same as twoisplenty and be firm so that he understands you have to get things done around the house etc (I can't sit down for a cup of tea though )

PrettyCandles · 04/05/2007 14:40

You've answered your own question: he has a 10m baby competing with him. Of course he needs to reassure himself that mummy still wants and loves him. You're doing the right thing by using nap times to play with him, but try not praising him or making any fuss when he plays independantly, and also playing with him sometimes when the baby is awake as well. Temper this softy approach with a bit of twoisplenty's firmness as well, so that he can see both that mummy still loves and cherishes him, as well as that there are still boundaries to his world. Children need clarity.

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