My 11yo is petrified of dogs :-(

[Renaissence]

it's becoming a real big issue for us as a family. He is so afraid of dogs that anywhere we go has to be assessed for 'dogs' before he even leaves the house or gets out of the car. He refuses to play football at open parks, won't go to any public places where dogs roam (even the promise that they will probably be on a lead). Whatever can I do? (Short of getting a dog ourselves, which is what most Google searches suggest... out of the question really.) He had a frightening experience with a biggish dog jumping up at him when he was about 2 years old and has hated them ever since. I have to find a way of helping him conquer this absolute fear. He literally shakes whenever one comes in sight :-(

I was like that as a kid and I wish someone had helped me like you're helping your DS!

I don't think getting a dog is the answer at all - I'd have run away from home.

Isn't the advice for phobias to introduce a little in a safe way and then build up over time? So first a picture, and then looking at one from a distance, and building up to touching.

I've only got over it as an adult, and that's cos DP is a dog lover and has doggie friends. It was actually understanding a bit about dogs from them that helped me a lot - such a such a breed is generally gentle, dogs don't like surprises, etc. Is there anyone in your life who could help familiarise your son like this?

Thank you @Rainatnight that's helpful. I try not to pander to his fear and we do sometimes go places where there are dogs, but his fear is so intense that it spoils any outings as he gets so so worked up. Probably I should have taken it more seriously sooner :-( I worry that it is so major to him now, I can't just pacify him like you might be able to do a younger child.

Hi, I was like this as a child. I only started getting better when a close relative got a dog and I started spending time with them. Do you have any friends or family that have chilled out dogs that you could introduce him to in a controlled environment? I think what was important was I never felt pressured to actively 'like' the dog but just to be able to be in the same room. We started small so with the dog being on a lead in the same room and gradually built up. I think for me the fear came from the unpredictability of animals, I couldn't anticipate what they would do and so I was frightened of them. I'm not sure if this would help in your case but there were videos on YouTube of ceaser Milan introducing people to dogs who were afraid and basically explaining what dogs do and why, and that really helped. Some behaviour I would have perceived as threatening actually came more out of the dog being afraid and not knowing what was going on. That gave me another perspective on it, but I was older when I watched those so not sure if it would help. I still don't love dogs and going to a place where they roam off leads isn't my ideal day out, but I can do it and it doesn't affect my life like it did as a child.

Thanks @Poseyrose11 that's helpful.