Help! Stroppy 18mth old

[onemoreday]

Suggestions please. My beautiful dd has recently become increasingly stroppy. throwing herself on the floor crying if she doesn't get what she wants, or doesn't get it quick enough. Today refusing to walk, constantly sitting down and screaming.

DH and I at odds in how to manage this. I don't give in to her and will step over her when she throws herself on the floor (as long as she is safe), wait till she calms down then distract her. Dh says all stimulus should be removed, no toys given etc, but make her get up and walk or carry on with what we are all doing when she threw herself on the floor. Any ideas? struggling at the moment, as she is really not pleasant to be around.

I think a mix of both.
I think ignoring the behaviour is best, if however she gets 'out of control' throwing things or anything, then yes remove stuff.

I used to ignore the behaviour and then if it was not possible to ignore (example-if she was terrorising her little cousin), then i'd sit her on the settee and she could get down when she agreed to behave!

Best of luck!!!

poor you!

I reckon you must be doing the right thing by ignoring her behaviour. Our general feeling is that at this age ds (also 18 months) is programmed to continually test the boundaries. Therefore it is our job to continually show him where those boundaries are - to show what is acceptable behaviour by greeting it with praise and warmth, and what is not acceptable by ignoring it or telling him we don't like it. Like you, when we are telling him or showing him that his behaviour is unacceptable we behave in the controlled way that we want him to behave him ... even though sometimes you really feel like losing it and yelling. Tough, isn't it.

There was a thread a few weeks back on the Time Out method. Have you tried that?

Another vote for ignoring the bad behaviour, it soon gets boring for them. Can also recommend two books, 'The Social Toddler' and 'Positive Discipline for Under Threes'. The latter is a U.S. title and you can get it from amazon.co.uk.

I end up yelling sometimes which my toddler finds the funniest thing ever. Ignoring is definitely better!

Hi my DD is nearly 4, at around 18 months she introduced us to tantrums and shouting, so we introduced her to the naughty step. Everytime we were home and she threw one of these mood swings, we would lift her up, take her out of the room and plonk her down on the step (moved the stairgate up one step) and told her to sit there until she was sorry, even now, if she gets mad at someone or something or can't have her own way, she either goes to her room to cool off (time out) or sits on the naughty step, it does work. DD was totally shocked that we were removing her from us that she soon stopped her tantrum, she was too nosey, thought she was missing out on something, oh yeah she cried nearly everytime she had to go to the naughty step, but once we introduced WHY she was being put there, like for example "You have to sit on the naughty step because you've kicked daddy" etc etc, she soon learned not to do it, otherwise she would have to sit alone. Also we used the smiley/sad face stickers and a chart, everytime she had a paddy, she would get a sad face, and sad faces mean't no treats, she soon cottoned on to that as well, but we only started doing that when she was coming up to 3 years old, Have fun and stick with whatever you decide to do otherwise your DD will be as confused as you.

Hi, my dd's nearly 22 months and hasn't so far done any real tantrums though her temper is developing daily! I'm interested in what you've suggested malinki because I thought that before about 2.5 kids aren't much able to cope with 'reason', i.e. that they've been put somewhere as a consequence of something they've done. So far I've just got by with saying a very firm 'no' when dd does something I don't like and that seems to have worked.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, opinions and support. I now have some new ideas to try and some reassurance that I am doing the "right" thing.

On a bit of a tangent but wanted to share it. DD (2 and a 1/4) has a naughty step and the other day I overhead her with her Annabelle doll ' Annabelle, you have to sit on the step and think about what you've done...... do you understand why that wasn't a good idea Annabelle? Sit there and think about things....'etc