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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

"Babies are all so different". Please help prove with extremes in development.

49 replies

JillyD · 01/08/2004 13:59

Wonder if you can help. One of my children seems behind developmentally and I wasn't too worried about it until a friend said that all babies should hit all milestones at roughly the same time, give or take a bit (ok, so what's a 'bit'?)

I think these milestones are a very rough guide and have never taken too much note of them. I have started to read them more, since one of my kids seems a bit slow.

Can you give me some examples of extremes in development i.e. very early/ very late development in perfectly normal children? Here's mine:

One of my sons rolled at 5 months but my youngest has just turned one and does not roll at all. BIG DIFFERENCE.

Anyone else?

OP posts:

wilbur · 02/08/2004 18:39

jillyd, that sounds so like my dd. She hardly bore any weight on her legs until she was about 12 months and then one day pulled herself up and started cruising quite well. She took her first step at 13.5 months and within days had strung 6 or 7 together which was v different to ds who took a first step or two at 11 months and then did nothing further for another month. Dd is walking well now at coming up to 15 months but still a bit unsteady. She also only babbles and points in the way you describe your son doing now (which is similar to my ds as I said below). I truly would not worry (I know it's hard - I used to feel very cut off from my son as I felt he never understood me!). Give it another month or two and if you're still concerned talk to your HV. I bet your ds surprises you very soon.

wilbur · 02/08/2004 19:08

Sorry, meant to say as well that dd crawled like you describe your ds doing too - sidesaddle, we called it. She doesn't do it now and I quite miss it.

Seabird · 02/08/2004 21:52

LOL at your clapping story fisil!

strangerthanfiction · 03/08/2004 21:12

Dd didn't get her first tooth til 13 months old. She said her first word at 10 months. She didn't roll over til 6 months, never even tried to crawl, but walked at 10 months.

strangerthanfiction · 03/08/2004 21:14

Oh yes, and by 18 months she was speaking so clearly that she was freaking people out! (including us, sometimes ).

tinytoes · 05/08/2004 11:40

my ds has hit all the major milestones right on time or early-eg walking at 10 and a half months but he is now 22 months and not talking.
before he started major teething at about 14 months he was doing ok-learning a new word every week (eg duck,baby)for about a month.with the teething this seemed to stop and now he doesnt even say the words Ive him say heard before.
if he comes out with a new word its totally out of the blue and he'll only say it once(slide which came out as slid ,brosh,for toothbrush,nappy and red).when I ask him to say these words again he doesnt say them,its like he cant,he just goes sssssss and my heart goes out to him cause hes realy trying!
The only words he says regularly are dada mama tar .
other than this his is an extremely bright child(fast learner knows some colours and numbers)
is this slow speech development normal ,can anyone reassure please me cause im starting to worry?

Jimjams · 05/08/2004 12:29

Hows the rest of his communication? Does he point to things he wants, or things that interest him? How does he let you know if he wants something, or if he sees something interesting (like a dog). Does he bring you things to show you?

Sorry lots of questions, but need to know a bit more before I answer!

tinytoes · 05/08/2004 12:55

hello jimjams thanks for your swift reply,
yes he does point at things going ssssssssssss and I guess what hes wanting when I get the right thing he goes yaaah!
wish Id have been a bit more persistant doing signs with him.
he understands most things(very nearly everything) that are said to him.
he's just starting nursery for a couple of half sessions a week so im hoping mixing with others his own age will bring him on.
also i read him stories talk to him a lot(he prob cant get a word in lol!) -and explain things,pointing things out to him when were outside etc
the reason I started worrying was because I read about verbal dispraxia(brain and mouth dont seem to connect properly and speech is difficult)although I hope wrong to get worried ,and that hes just a late talker
(the things that worried me were that he seems unable to repeat words he has already said and that he says ssssssssssssss all the time ,that his words come 'out of the blue' when hes not thinking too hard.if he thinks/tries too hard its like he cant say it.( unless its simple like up tar)
e

tinytoes · 05/08/2004 12:57

ps jj yes he does he other things too

tinytoes · 05/08/2004 13:13

sorry meant to say 'the' other things too

Jimjams · 05/08/2004 13:25

children with verbal dyspraxia don't usually lose words (although there could be some weird situations where they may be able to say words as a reflex but not say them otherwise). DS2 - age 2- may have verbal dyspraxia (although to be honest I'm beginning to doubt it as he's responding too well and too quickly to the patchy SALT I'm giving him).

The reason I asked the quesitons is that ds1 did exactly the same thing- started to talk - had quite a good vocab at 12 months - his words then began to decrease and by 15 months he was no longer talking (singing perfectly in tune though!). HOWEVER and this is a BIG however- he couldn't point to things. Well he could but only using my hand "where's the xxxx" would result in my hand being picked up and plonked on the page. He aso didn't point out things of interest although he would look at things like planes and say "a ee ain" over and over again until I responded. He also struggled to follow non-situational instructions. So although he's understand "put your shoes on" as we were going out, he wouldn't understand- "go and get your drink we're going out" iyswim. If your son is doing all that then the fact that he's lost words is less important than it would be otherwise, and he definitely doesn't have ds1's difficulties.

DS2's speech has been helped a lot by nursery- so that may help. The only other thing I would suggest is getting his hearing checked. Children I know with glue ear have had good understanding but very poor speech. it might explain why he stopped saying things as well.

tinytoes · 05/08/2004 13:38

dear jimjams sorry to hear about your ds' problems .glad to hear ds 2 is doing ok now,hows your ds1?
thanks for clarifying some things for me,it makes me less worried hoping that hes just a late talker
ill def get his ears checked and ill have a word with my hv
whats glue ear? how come they can hear but not speak?
last thing do you have any SALT tips i could use
thanks again jimjams (much appr.)

tinytoes · 05/08/2004 14:04

jimjams i mean problems with speech not problems problems sorry hope I havent offended you(Im an oaf sometimes)

throckenholt · 05/08/2004 14:11

my ds1 started saying words at about a year - then after about amonth he gave up all words in favour of brm brm taught by dh ! By about 18 months he started coming up with words again - but few and far between. Suddenly just before 2 he took off, now at just 3 he talks very fluently and clearly - much more so than other kids of his age.

He would never repeat anything if you asked him to. He also made up his own words for things from about 2 - eg bummel for tractor.

wellsie · 05/08/2004 14:12

My brother and I are were as far apart in the development milestones as you could get. I did everything early and he was late. My mum put it down to me doing everything for my baby brother so basically he became lazy.
But he soon caught up and learnt to beat me up!
I have noticed at the M&B group I go to that there are some extremes in terms of development. Babies of 6mths crawling and other babies of the same age not even sitting.
We are all unique as adults, so why should babies be any different.

Jimjams · 05/08/2004 14:36

Glue ear is a common condiiton when the ears become blocked up wth gunk basically. If it remains then often grommmets are inserted about age 3 to drain the fluid (sometimes things like cranial osteopathy can help- not always though). Although children with glue ear can hear, there may be intermittent periods when they can;t, or they may only be able to hear out of one ear, or everything may sound slightly different each time they hear it- all of which makes learning to speak hard (learning to understand is easier- as you will know from learning foreign languages).

DS1 is 5, non-verbal autistic. That's why I wanted to ask a few more questions before saying your ds was doing the same as ds1. In his case the lack of pointing was a big sign of something being wrong.

Jimjams · 05/08/2004 14:40

oh as regards SALT tips- most of the stuff I'm doing with ds2 is structured stuff for phonological problems, with ds1 its for receptive language.

General SALT stuff would be to reduce your language (rather than come on lets go and find your coat we're going out now- say " Name get coat".) You can do things like posting- so make a post box out of a shoe box and post pictures and cards into it- whilst saying the name- or you can "feed the monster' in the same way. You can use wooden spoons and saucepans to beat out the names of things. You ca buy tapes which play different noises and the child has to match the noise with a piccy- good for listening skills.

tinytoes · 05/08/2004 14:54

i have just heard you are pregnant a belated congratulations

tinytoes · 06/08/2004 12:17

jimjams sorry to hear your ds one has sn,(dont want to say the wrong thing cause i imagine too much sympathy can sometimes be worse than none at all).thanks for answering me and thanks for the SALT tips will be using them .hopefully sometime soon i'll be moaning that he never shuts up!

tinytoes · 06/08/2004 13:50

sorry jimjams this was probably insensitive thing to say please accept my apologies

Jimjams · 06/08/2004 14:07

Don't worry tinytoes! He's just the way he is. I can hear him downstairs doing his ABA programme now. He's lovely little boy- just a bit harder work than normal (in terms of destruction etc). I can think of a lot worse!

Jimjams · 06/08/2004 14:08

Oh and you're right about sympathy! Never know what to do with it!

tinytoes · 06/08/2004 16:57

there was a little boy who was autistic at a playgroup i worked at a few years ago bc
he was the most adorable little chap i always made a point of talking to him even though he didnt talk back.one day i asked him something and he said yes and i didnt realise how special this was until i told his worker the next day she could hardly believe it, and it was only then i realised how privilged i had been.
it is such a baffling condition to me , my heart just goes out to them
i read something recently about a food supp. helping a little girl who had it(but i cant remember what it was or where i read it )

tinytoes · 09/08/2004 13:34

just to get back to org.thread-
my hairdresser nephew couldnt sit up at 12 months ,when my ds was running around-and my mates brother(big fat baby didnt walk till he was nearly two
(six months aft. hd s nephew was walking fine)

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