Please help 5 year old sleep problems

[cakey87]

Hi all

I'm really struggling with my 5 year old sons sleep at the moment. He was a great baby then he hit 3 and started to wake in the night. At first he would get up and come
Into my room wanting to get into my bed. I managed to resolve that by taking him back to his bed and sleeping on the floor, problem is he now wakes during the night shouting me into his room. Most nights he is waking and shouting me to pull his cover back over him ( I think this is a ploy so I go to his room and reassure him). Other nights he is scared that it is dark or shadows on th wall (he has a lamp and a night light)

His actual bedtime routine is not good at the moment and I am working on it, he needs me upstairs whilst he is laying down as again he gets scared sometimes I don't get downstairs and have time to myself until 10:30 so I get about 30 minutes before my own bedtime then I'm up around 3-4am with him shouting.

I am at a real loss at what to do I have set up a bedtime chart where he gets a star when he doesn't wake mummy up but this morning he got so upset that he didn't get one I felt awful and I don't want him to feel punished.

Please please can anyone offer me advise I am at my wits end with it all as it's been going on now for almost 2 years

Gosh you must be tired. This book is aimed at parents of slightly younger children but it might be worth downloading the free sample and seeing what you think.

What time are you currently starting your bedtime routine and what does it consist of?

I think,you need to stop,pandering to his behaviour and start allowing him to demonstrate to himself he can settle himself.
A decent run or walk so he has enough exercise. Take him swimming or cycling two or three times a week instead of TV.
Then a good bedtime routine. Supper, warm bath, Pjs. Into bed about 7pm He can read to you from his school reading book first. Then you read a chapter of a book to him. Then nightlight. Then music of a sleepy gentle nature not blaring pop,music but soothing lullaby type music.
From then on firm. Good night sleep tight.
Star for chart in the morning if you stay in bed without any fuss.
Go downstairs and ignore any shouting. Do not lie down anywhere near him. Tell him very firmly it’s sleep time and mummy is busy.
If he comes down, take him back without any interaction. Again. It’s bedtime and mummy is busy. Calmly and patiently. He’ll,get the message but it might take a couple of days of hard work.
Do not go to him when he shouts. He’s plenty old enough to pull his bedding up. He’s plenty old enough to settle back down. If he comes into you then just firmly back to bed without interaction.
He’s not scared he’s being manipulative.
It takes 3/4 days to change sleep behaviour but is so worthwhile. He’ll make a fuss and play up,initially but stand your ground about who is in charge and you’ll win the battle.

Thanks so much for your responses just managed to get on here today, we've settled into a bedtime routine and although his bedtime is later than I would
Like I'm gradually moving it forward. No
More night wakings which has been great I think as he was goi g to bed too late and me sat in the room it was disturbing his sleep!

Thank you all again x