Struggling with 4 year old

[Bumchin101]

My 4 year old DS has turned into an absolute nightmare over the last 4 months and I'm really struggling with how to deal with it. So far I have been taking his treats away throughout the day like no TV for the rest of the day, no pudding, straight to bed after dinner, time out, naughty step and have started a reward chart 3 days ago which doesn't seem to be working. He throws the most horrendous tantrums and can be so nasty to our 4 month old dachound yet lovely to his 2 week old sister. He never shares his toys with his cousin and back chats me something chronic. I am at the end of my tether and feel like I'm always telling him off or shouting at him. He just never listens to me! Any advice at all? Feel like I've tried everything and none of it is working, worried I'm going to start disliking DS.

A puppy and a baby in the space of 4 months is quite a lot of change. I'd aim for positive reinforcement, trying to spend a bit of time one on one and waiting for things to get better.

I agree with MrsJones. It sounds like this behaviour is in response to a lot of upheaval in his life recently. It does all sound really normal for a 4yo.

Try to avoid punishments which don’t take place immediately as it’s hard for him to care about (for example) having to go to bed early that night if it’s only mid-afternoon at the time. Be kind to him!

Hang in there OP, it will get better.

Most 4 year olds are like that. Don't punish them. It's their job to test boundaries to understand how the world works - according to all the parenting books I read. There's a good one How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen. It's all actual things to say to get them to cooperate. It's organised into all the problems you face and them multiple ways to get them to operate and things to say. You get a happier more cooperative kid if you save the ' do what Mummy says, no arguments' for important stuff. Mine has been just refusing to do what she is told. I stopped a potentially nasty battle to get her to go upstairs to bed when my blood started to boil last night by asking her if she wanted to hop up the stairs or zoom like a rocked. She stopped wailing and immediately wanted to hop.

*rocket

Mine is also enjoying bossing our kitten around. I think it's a power thing. Your wee one now has something smaller than them that they can push around. They might be taking out their feelings of jealousy about the baby on the puppy. Don't leave them alone.