When do toddlers understand ‘no’

[Newmums16]

I’m a FTM to my DD who is 1.5yrs old. If she’s being naughty or something she shouldn’t do, I say ‘no’ or ‘stop xyz’. She either laughs and carries on or just ignores me altogether until I remove the object/or her from whatever it was. But she then screams at me like she had no clue I’ve just been telling her no for however long. So...when do toddlers start to understand stop or that they are being told off? Am I expecting too much at this age? She’s started this screaming thing now in public too when I’m trying to stop her doing something and it makes me feel bad, I don’t see any other toddlers act like this

She understands alright. Sounds like she just doesn’t like it. I found distraction usually helps

It sounds like she understands but thinks it doesn't apply to her.

From what I remember, round about the same age they start to defy you on purpose. Seems pretty normal to me to be honest, I thought all toddlers were like this? But it can be better to save "no" and "stop" for emergencies.

So, first toddler-proof everything to hell and back. Everything is exciting to a toddler. Put things up out of reach and sight. Fragile things can move up a level as she get taller. You could have childproof locks on all the kitchen cupboards except for one at floor level full of plastic utensils that she can dig about in.

Second, if your DD isn't at a sit-quietly kind of stage then minimise places and events where she has to do that. Story time at the library or sitting nicely in the cafe might not be her thing, rampaging round the park or softplay might suit her better.

And third, try to phrase every instruction positively. Avoid "No! Stop waving the stick around!" She doesn't really know what to do instead. So go for "Put the stick down on the ground and let's play on the swings" or (for an older stroppier toddler) "three more waves and then put the stick down .. three.. two.. one.. and down. Well done!" As popmusic says distraction is good - "let's play with this bowl" as you give her the plastic one and quietly put the pyrex out of the way.

And last, try not to worry about the odd tantrum. There can't be many of us who haven't had to take something exciting but risky from a screaming toddler!

would say from 9/10 months onwards (at least my NT child did).

guess she is deciding to ignore you. Do you have concerns about her receptive language otherwise? if not, just stay strong. it will get better!!!

I think there’s a difference between understanding what the word ‘no’ means and understanding why she should stop doing something just because you (arbitrarily, as far as she is concerned!) say ‘no’. I don’t mean that in a bad way btw- it’s an important developmental stage that she is gaining independence and wanting to make her own decisions.

Good post from Kleinzeit re ideas to approach this. It does sound completely normal to me.