Feeling really anxious about my son's behaviour

[BreadEggsSalmon]

I've been feeling increasingly anxious over my son's behaviour over the last few months. He's 13 months and up until now I just assumed he's just a really independent baby as he can crawl and just recently started walking. However, some things have really struck me over the past wee while and things that I hadn't really bothered about too much before have started to worry me because of these.

The main thing is when he is watched by his grandparents. They come and collect him twice a week and when I wave goodbye he doesn't even look at me or seem to care. When he comes home he seems totally indifferent to seeing me again, doesn't smile or reach out and will just go down and play with his toys. When his grandparents leave he acts in the exact same way towards them. It's the same in the morning when he wakes up or after his nap. he will just lie still and not smile or even look at me when I enter the room.

I know he doesn't have any hearing issues and his sight seems fine as well. Other things he's always done that never worried me until now are:
*He rarely responds to his name
*He barely ever looks at me (even when being fed)
*He hates sitting on anyone's lap or being cuddled or kissed - he normally wriggles down and walks/crawls away
*He doesn't point/wave/clap
*He plays with things for hours on end without even acknowledging anyone
*Doesn't ever seem to want to share or play any games
*He doesn't say mama

Apart from that he smiles a lot (just not really at anyone) and laughs a lot especially if he's tickled or you chase after him and he loves to hide from people. He also really enjoys books and turning the pages. When I take him to any baby classes he just wonders off to play with light switches or wheels that he will find on anything. I suppose none of these things bothered me until I noticed his behaviour when leaving and coming home. i expected big smiles and a hug but nope, absolutely nothing!

I am in such a panic about this. Does anyone have any similar experiences or recommendations? I hate googling stuff as it just sends me in to full blow panic mode

Hi OP

I probably am completely wrong and it's most likely this is the way your son is developing just now but have you thought your son could have Autism?

I have 3 ASN children

Thanks very much for your reply.
Yes, it has crossed my mind and I wondered if I should take him to a GP or if it's better to see a HV?
Do you know how the assessment process works?
Thanks again for getting back to me.

Hi bread, I would go to the Gp if you are concerned - or ask HV for opinion. Word of warning (or reassurance) once you start looking for something, you’ll see it. If you are still concerned , the SEN boards here have extremely knowledgeable posters.

Sorry, realised I didn’t answer your question. Gp or Hv can refer fir specialist assessment by a paediatrician initially then speech therapist and psychologist. There will be markers and traits they look for initially before in depth assessment .

Thanks for your response. I phoned the HV, she seemed a bit concerned but not overly. Said just to wait and see and carry on doing what we are doing. Waving at people, clapping and pointing etc. I know what you mean about starting to look for something. It's driving me nuts! Having good days and bad days at the moment it's so worrying. I hope not to offend anyone with my posts.