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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

clingy 8 month old, will it last?

14 replies

REIDmylips · 30/04/2007 21:22

my 8 month old ds has suddenly become very clingy. Not necessarily to me, but to who ever he is with at the time. He will not be let alone for more than a few seconds. I used to be able to leave him (safely obviously) while i go to make a brew etc, but now he cries as soon as you leave the room.

Is this a phase? any one with similar experiences or any sggestions?

Thanks

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Original poster

REIDmylips · 30/04/2007 21:31

anyone?

OP posts:

bramblina · 30/04/2007 21:33

This is a phase, they get separation anxiety at around 9 and 18 months (my ds got it at 8 and 20 though) and at the time it's awful, as you say, even when you leave the room, but all I used to do was sing to him or talk as I left the room till I came back in so he was reassured. And sometimes would make a great fuss when I came back in, to cheer him up and reassure him more.
HTH, it's just s part of development where they become aware, so don't worry.

bramblina · 30/04/2007 21:36

And I would also say don't be tempted to carry him with you everywhere you go just to avoid it, as it will pass and if you avoid it it would just prolong and make it worse for you.

Original poster

REIDmylips · 30/04/2007 21:43

thanks B! thats what i have been doing singing (badly) etc when i leave the room to reassure him. I am tryin not to carry him around with me everywhere, which is difficult as i work full time so like the time we have together to be smiley rather than sad, iykwim!

how long dod the phase last with your lo?

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Original poster

REIDmylips · 30/04/2007 22:00

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neilsmum · 30/04/2007 22:03

Hello,my 81/2 month old is the same.becomes extremely distressed when I leave him even to go to the loo.Rubbing deep heat on my back jsut now.really sore from carrying him around.He used to keep himself amused before but now he needs me to be there all the time!

Original poster

REIDmylips · 30/04/2007 22:11

thanks neilsmum, so i'm not alone then! i wonder how long it will last!?

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gingernutlover · 01/05/2007 07:38

dd is 19 months and has had a few clingy phases, i have found that the best thing is to get on as best as i can with what ever else is going on and what previuous posters have said, try not to just carry him everywhere as this will become a problem as he gets bigger (my back agrees) and if you want to pop to the kitchen or whatever just tell him where you are going, chat to him/make lots olf noise and then make a big fuss of the brave little thing when you get back, try to limit it to a couple of minutes at first so he doesn't get too agiatted and realises you come back.

I have found these phases have been at their worst for a couple of weeks.

DD now like mummy and mummy only, noone else is good enough, she hides from daddy and screams "Muuuuuuuuuuuuummy" if he tries to takes her to bed we are trying to ignore it as I'm sure it is just attention seeking.

Ceebee74 · 01/05/2007 08:00

Hey Reid - my DS (9.5 months) has just started doing this too and I keep telling myself it is just a natural phase! I think this might be connected to his new sleeping problems aswell - is your DS still sleeping through?

We went to my parents for a couple of days last week and he would cry every time I left the room, wouldn't let my mum feed him etc and then when we got home, I popped to Asda and DH said he cried for ages after I had gone! However, at least my DS is crawling so he just follows me wherever I go rather than me having to carry him.

Am dreading taking him to nursery tomorrow as he hasn't been for a couple of weeks and it is during this time, the clinginess has started!

PavlovtheCat · 01/05/2007 08:07

Reid - it is perfectly normal for little babes to get clingy around this age. It might last a while, or might be a passing phase.

Its to do with becoming more aware and independent and is natural and positive.

I like the idea of singing tho...I plonk a cat in the room for her to go mad at (where she cant grab them, like if shes in the playpen and I am out of the room. Mostly she is fine, but sometimes, she wont let me go for a pee even I am talking to her!

Is the tea room being open soon btw?

Original poster

REIDmylips · 01/05/2007 08:50

Thankyou for the advice!

Ceebee, yes he is still sleeping really well (touch wood!) and as i said earlier, although he is clingy, he is just clingy to whoever he is with at the time, rather than just me (thankfully) although this may change. Hopefully not before we go away without him this weekend

OP posts:

bramblina · 01/05/2007 21:17

Sorry, didn't check back!
It didn't last long IIRC- a week or two then would come back if he was teething or unwell but by the time it comes back you'll recognise the signs and be more confident about leaving him.
Good luck!

Original poster

REIDmylips · 02/05/2007 08:51

thanks bramblina x

OP posts:

bramblina · 03/05/2007 21:07

You're welcome! Have you found it settling even yet? It may only last a few days, hope it does. It may be worse when the lo is tired then fine when content, but you'll soon notice a building of confidence in both you and him. HTH x

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