18 month old DD doesn't respond to the word "no " or just laughs - is this normal?

[diplodocus]

Hi. I have an 18 month old DD who is on the whole a really happy and easy child. The one problem is that she still doesn't respond in any way to the word "no" - or just laughs. A degree of it is attention seeking - she does things she knows she's not allowed to when I'm busy with something else - but she'll also do it when she has my full attention. I get down to her level, look her in the eye and say "no" firmly, and it's water off a ducks back. A few times I've even raised my voice (not something I want to do - I'm not a "shouty mum" and certainly don't want to become one)and she finds that particularly amusing. Distraction doesn't work either. The only way of stopping her doing something is to physically remove her from it, which isn't always practical. I'm finding it particularly frustrating as she's now so good at following much more complex instructions when she's playing, so know she understands. Is this normal? When can I hope for her to start responding a bit more (am obviously not expecting total obedience at this age, but maybe some acknowledgment that she knows what she's doing is wrong)?. Am getting concerned that as she gets older and more mobile safety will be even more of an issue and responding to "no" becomes more important. Any ideas or suggestions?

she is too young.

If you cannot remove her could you remove the 'thing' that is causing the problem?

Also, do you use distraction as a pre-emptive option? This may be more useful than using disraction when she is already doing something you disapprove of.

A brief explanation where practcable is good too: "Now! mummy thinks that is not a good idea because it will fall on the floor...Thnak you!"

Warnings and opportunities to correct behaviour are worth trying - 3 strikes and she's out sort of approach.

it is totally normal - all you can do is what you are doing already, just remove her from the situation.
My DS2 is 18mths and is a little monster for touching things he shouldn't. He understands 'no' and will even say 'don't touch'. Doesn't stop him from actually doing it though!
My DS1 on the other hand was an angel and responded to 'no' from about 10 months old!
Some of them are just sent to test you !

ds is 23 months, he was about 20 months when he started to understand both yes and no properly. i think its normal and you will find over the next few months she'll understand more. at this age, as you say, physically removing her is the only thing that will work for now

Do you have a play pen or a room with a child gate on it? At this age ds used to have a fascination with the oven and hob. I used to get down to his level and say "no touching the hob" once, the second time I would put him in the hallway and close the child gate and say "no touching the oven". He really hated being shut out and would cry. I would let him back in after a couple of minutes and give him a hug but if he did it again he would go out again.

I think it's normal at this age to start to assert their independence by deliberately doing something they know they shouldn't.

Thanks for such a quick response. Bran - I have very similar problems with the washing machine, dishwasher etc. and take a similar response to you, but it only works in the very short term. - will continue doing it though. I think you're right that she's beginning to assert her independence. Nice to know I'm not alone.

Oh yes, it's all coming back to me now (ds is nearly 3). He used to climb into the diswasher whenever I opened it, which was revolting if dirty plates had been dripping onto the inside of the door, and he used to always want to take all my jars and cans out of the cupboard if I ever left the lock off. Toy pots and pans and utensils were great for distraction at that age and I used to give him things like dried pasta pieces to "cook" when I was cooking. But on the whole that was a hugely stressful time to do anything in the kitchen. He did grow out of it, but I can't remember exactly when I'm afraid.

I think if you can limit the number of things you say "No" to it can help - it then has more of an impact when you do actually say it. I try to reserve "No" for things that are seriously harmful or devastatingly messy!