Friends baby not developing.

[ladybirdie26]

So my friend and I DDs are a week apart exactly at nearly seven months old, hers being older.
We met today after a few months not seeing each other for a general catch up.
I'm unsure if I should even be contemplating saying anything as don't want to hurt her feelings!
But her daughter doesn't seem to be reaching many developmental milestones and my friend seems completely unaware. Baby can't roll, just slumps when put in sitting position, can't bear weight on her legs, and is in no way mobile. Generally a happy smiling baby though. Would you say anything and how? Xxx

I wouldn't necessarily think there is anything to worry about. My 15 month old only started sitting up at 9 months which is quite late. She has just started walking. I had her checked by a doctor and a physio just in case but they both said she was fine - just taking her time.

The baby hasn't missed a single developmental milestone from what you have said in your post.

@cedoren the baby should be able to at least sit in a seated position be it on a lap or unaided so granted you are right about the other ones I mentioned so maybe she's just a bit slower - but that's at least one she should be doing by seven months regardless x

9 months is when doctors start to be concerned about not sitting, and even then it doesn't mean anything is wrong. It's actually better not to prop a baby until they can sit without support. They build the muscles they need through lying on their front and on their back and gradually getting more mobile.

Don't say any thing.
Her baby sounds fine

My dd didn't sit till 9 months
Didn't crawl until 12.5 months
Walked at 15 months.

She hasn't missed any milestone

You friend's baby is within normal ranges.
Babies develop at different rates.
Your title is incorrect. Your friend's baby is developing.
There is the possibility that she is delayed or even that she has a significant, underlying condition.
But its very hard to tell at 7mths.
Is she babbling, responding to her name, reaching, putting her hands in her mouth etc?

Baby sounds fine.
My oldest didn't do any of those things except sitting at nearly 7 months-6 months is the average for sitting so that's not worrying at all. However at 17yo I can assure it hasn't made any difference to how she is now.
Dd2 crawled at 5 months, walked at 8yo and I know which was easier to deal with Wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I remember that at about 9 months I met up with someone who had a child the same age at dd1. At the end they said rather smugly that their child was ahead in every way. They hadn't actually noticed that while their dc was crawling round and taking a few steps and they were applauding them, dd1 was sitting quietly in a corner doing jigsaws on her own. (2 piece through to 6 piece).

I agree that babies develop at different rates but late achievement of gross motor milestones in the vast majority of cases is linked to joints hypermobility. There are things parents can do to help their children to strengthen their joints and build muscle strength.

My DD has strong upper body but her hip and leg joints are hyper mobile. She rolled at 6 months, could sit without support at 7 months but she refused to bear any weight on legs until 11 months. At 12 months, I researched into hypermobility and started doing light physio exercises with DD. They are making a difference - DD legs are getting stronger every day.

In summary, there is a wide range of "normal" but if the baby is falling below the 90th percentile for gross motor development, I would look into hypermobility. It is not a big deal and it usually disappears as babies/toddlers get older but it is probably not "100% normal".

Here is the useful reference point for gross motor skills development:

www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/Windows.pdf

I will go against the grain here. If she truly is looking as though she is lacking in tone then I would say something. Everyone here is right that there is a massive range in normal and hopefully she would be immediately reassured by a HCP. However sometimes lack of tone can indicate very serious issues. As long as you are speaking from a place of concern rather than smugness this will come across. My view is somewhat influenced by my friends experience of a low tone baby. On paper he was not missing milestones but when you handled and observed him there was clearly something amiss.
I understand why PP would be reticent about not mentioning anything and causing offence/worry but sometimes it is important to follow your gut on these things.

What you say is true but I am thinking of the OP's belief that her friend's baby isn't developing or meeting milestones.
That isn't the case.
The baby may have atypical muscle tone but that isn't the same thing as not developing.
Its impossible to tell how concerned the mother should be without additional information.

Maybe I worded it wrong- didn't want to come across as smug but glad some of you realised what I was trying to say.
Thanks for replies x

I think you may be out with your milestones: iirc the normal window for sitting unaided is 6-8 months. So no "should" about that one either, if baby isn't even 7 months old.

Totally agree ThefirstMrsDV. I suppose I was just saying that if OP truly is concerned for her friend’s baby then she shouldn’t refrain from saying something. None of us can know if there truly is a cause for concern without seeing the baby the question is more should OP say something. I think OP is coming from a good place and the worst/best outcome is if a HCP says to the friend that OP is speaking tosh.

I don't think you sounded smug lady just a bit OTT.
You seem genuine.

I'd be inclined to agree with Miaow. If there is a long-lasting problem, it is extremely unlikely that her mother will be able to go through the next year or so without noticing or having it pointed out to her. And while it is true that many conditions are better off for being treated sooner rather than later, that usually means "years sooner rather than decades", not "weeks rather than months". The most likely explanation, if the is a genuine problem would be hypermobility/low tone. It's not something that can be cured by a swift intervention, rather something that can gradually be supported throughout childhood.

I wouldn’t say anything. All babies development at different rates. It’s easy to compare your child to other children. In that case your Lo being more advanced. Your friend may know her baby is slightly behind but is reluctant to talk about it. It’s harder being in the opposite situation. Both my DS and DD had and still has developmental delays (DS is diagnosed ASD). I would always look at other toddlers and feel sad mine weren’t doing the same things. But my DC aren’t now slightly older and despite still having some delays they are extremely happy, confident children.

At 6-7 months my dd had only just started confidently sitting and didn’t really like rolling and could not bear weight on her legs. She was a late walker but she’s now a very active 2 (nearly 3) year old.