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New Separation anxiety/change behaviour 8 year old girl

3 replies

bobbymcf · 01/02/2018 18:31

Hello, I’ll try keep this short.

We moved abroad 1 year ago. We have 3 kids, my middle child can at times be anxious although in general are just gets on with it.

My youngest found the move tough (new language to learn) so has defo got much more attention for at least the first 6 months of the move.

My middle child is 8, and just in the last 2-3 weeks, almost seems like ‘sadness’ from the movie inside-out!! Slumping about, quiet, not really enjoying things as much. On top she’s had a few v normal school friend issues (one friend possessive, doesn’t like playing with other kids, falls out with my daughter is she does etc etc) but she says it doesn’t bother her too much. She’s also found it MUCH harder being away from me- she is constantly saying how much she misses me and sometimes cries at school cos she just wants to be with me... which is not like her (no matter how fabulous I am..Wink).

I have chatted extensively with her, making sure no major issues at school (talked to teacher and no concerns). Also took her to GP as complaining regularly of tummy pain (no other symptoms, I think it’s anxiety related). He think it’s also anxiety but is running a few basic tests to be sure. I guess my question is.... does anyone have a girl of a similar age who had these issues... could hormones be playing a part? I’m just not sure where it’s all come from... maybe a delayed reaction to the big move? I’m kinda hoping someone’s gonna say ‘ohhh that totally happened to my girl and it was a stage and it passed and all was ok!’ It’s just upsetting seeing her miserable.... ta!

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Tryhardmum76 · 01/02/2018 22:44

Hi,

I don't think my situation is just like yours but I do have an 8 year old daughter having some issues right now! I was going to start a new thread but saw this and thought maybe we could reassure each other!

Leading up to Christmas my daughter was much as you describe- slumping about, not her normal self, seeming tired all the time, seemed sad, a bit anxious, but we couldn't put our finger on anything in particular and she claimed nothing was bothering her.

But this is interspersed with bouts of high emotion, complete meltdowns, angry outbursts, thinks that we hate her, we love her sister more.

Tonight she had a complete outpouring which is quite unusual- saying things like she doesn't understand herself, she gets everything wrong, she says things she doesn't want to say (I had got cross with her over something so it was a response o this but totally over the top).

It sounds like your daughters behaviour could be to do with the move, but maybe this is mixed with a hormonal change? I have heard that 8 year old girls go through a hormonal change but I don't know the facts about that? To be honest my daughter has always been hard work but I feel it's heightened at the moment.

When I describe my daughter to friends with girls the same age, they all have stories to tell and although not just the same it's reassuring to know.

bobbymcf · 06/02/2018 22:15

Thanks so much for replying and sorry I’m so slow!! Sounds good that your daughter had an outpouring- I always figure even if it’s rotten to hear they are confused or upset about something, it’s so much better and healthier for them to be able to vocalise it.
My daughter suddenly seems a bit brighter in thé last few days.... I’m not sure if that’s possibly down to one of her high-maintenance friends being off school this week, or if the ‘phase’ is ebbing (and probably to return..!!).
Anyway, hope your daughter feels a bit better soon and thanks for your reassuring words!

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Tryhardmum76 · 06/02/2018 23:02

I'm glad your daughter seems brighter now. I'm trying just to accept my daughter's mood swings and not be too hard on her because it's ok to sad or angry sometimes. But if course we want them to be happy and prolonged low mood can be worrying. So I hope your daughter has turned a corner from whatever was bothering her Smile

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