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Controlling DC anger

4 replies

Fondantfancypant · 01/02/2018 16:21

Have NC as may be identifying.
My son has bitten another child in reception class.
We've not had any other incidents since the start of school but at nursery he did hit a few times.
I'm just looking for some ideas on how to help him manage his anger.
I've tried to explain that when you get angry you need to walk away, talk to an adult, take a deep breath etc but it's clearly not sinking in.
I have a close friend who's little boy he really clashes with, we rarely meet up as it can be quite stressful I feel both their personalities clash.
I've noticed when another child is getting in his face or if they touch him in an argument this is when he lashes out or tries to - for example he was on a trike and friends child was grabbing the handlebars and shouting in his face so he went to bite him, luckily I was standing in between so stopped him and gave him a stern talking to...we spoke for ages about right and wrong behaviour and different ways to express anger.
I've explained that everyone gets angry and may want to lash out but we don't as it's wrong hurts etc. Ive only seen him go to bite once before and I think he did it once at nursery when he was 2.
The teacher explained the other child was waving arms in his face and said something mean so I can only assume this is why he chomped down in frustration as he would usually walk away.
I'm feeling horrified for the other child's poor arm and like im failing my son - I just want to teach him how to handle his anger but how?? I've taken his privileges away this week but feel this isn't really addressing the underlying problem.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Fondantfancypant · 01/02/2018 21:01

Bump

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PrivateParkin · 04/02/2018 08:43

It sounds like you're doing the right things to me OP - telling him we all get angry and there are good/bad ways of dealing with that. How old is he - presume 4/5 as you mentioned Reception? You said about the underlying issue - did he tell you what happened with the child at school or was it the teacher's version? Not saying that would be wrong but if your DS can tell you how he was feeling etc that might help to get to the bottom of it. My other suggestion would be to look at the aha parenting website - I'm a bit obsessed with it! There's a lot of stuff on there re dealing with kids' emotions/anger etc that might help.

thethoughtfox · 04/02/2018 09:22

Try role playing it with him and give him phrases he can use next time. I did this with my dd. I keep telling her she is a strong powerful girl and has a strong powerful voice and we practised loudly telling the person to 'Stop x I don't like it' and if they didn't, moving away and getting an adult.

Fondantfancypant · 04/02/2018 10:04

Thanks for the replies yes he's 4 at the moment. I had always had in the back of my mind his issue with personal space and had thought after 5 months of school we were out of the danger zone! He told me the other child had said he wasn't allowed to another child's party... I can't believe it was over something so small but I'm guessing there was a personal space issue combined with this. As it happened in the morning I struggled to get a good account of it from him as he'd sort of forgotten.
I will definitely check that website out!
Also will do the role playing I hadn't thought of that!

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