My DD hates my MIL

[FloWriter]

As the title says...my lovely, chilled, easy going little 3 month old baby HATES my MIL!

It's awful. I'm blessed with an amazing MIL who I honestly love and call a friend yet my little girl screams every time she sees her. It's so embarrassing. My DD doesn't behave like this with anyone else but I have noticed that my MIL is a bit full on with her. She's so thrilled to have a granddaughter and I think she maybe is a little too animated for my LO.

It's got to the point where I can't let my DD stay with my MIL anymore for fear of her crying the entire time.

Anyone else experiencing anything similar? An over bearing MIL who wants to do nothing but love their grandchild but in doing so is scaring the poor grandchild??

Tiny babies don't have the capacity to hate anybody. They cry when they're uncomfortable or feel threatened.
Look at mil behaviour with dd, is she rough, loud, waving her arms about etc?

I'd try to give mil some gentle pointers next time it happens, try saying something like "I've noticed she seems really sensitive to loud noises, we've all been talking to her really quietly and she loves it"

Hopefully she'll take your suggestions on board and calm down a bit.

My DS was exactly the same with my MIL until he was about 10mo. She would walk in a room and he would cry. He is still not overly enamoured with her at 14mo. She is not maternal at all and when he was born she couldn’t have been any more awkward with him. Then as he got older, she would try to hold him even when he didn’t want to and he used to get really frustrated.
Saying that, he isn’t too keen on my Dad either. They can sense when they aren’t safe or people don’t feel comfortable with them. She doesn’t hate your mil, just the way she is with her

I think 3 months is very young to be leaving a baby with someone overnight anyway - that may be what is making her cry. The association of MIL with being apart from mummy.

So just do whatever the baby wants and don’t leave her with mil if she cries. It’s pretty normal at such an early stage.

At that age our girl was very wary of anyone who wasn’t us. Screamed at my dad all the time. She then relaxed but still hated all men, and although she relaxed with Grandma she screamed if he had glasses on. It wasn’t anything to do with anything they had done. It could be a scent or, as it was

She’ll get over it, don’t force it or make a big deal, just give it a little time and it will pass.

Kids sometimes just take random-seeming likes/dislikes to people. My FIL is a lovely man, really kind, soft-spoken and gentle - My son spent the first year of his life screaming in horror every time poor FIL went anywhere near him.

Yet he went bonkers for one of my BILs and would always try to crawl over or frantically wave his little arms to be picked up by him - and yet BIL is really big, gruff and frankly pretty scary looking. But DS was mad for him - even took his first steps trying to get to him. He's 2.5 now and likes his uncle and his grandfather both about the same.

So it may not even be anything MIL is doing (or not doing) and it is just a phase you have to gently cringe your way through.

If you don't think MIL will be offended, you/DH could try to gently suggest she be a bit calmer and less full on, but tbh, I think I would just wait it out as it will almost certainly pass as DD gets older.