Hi Flopsy,
Very similar here. Dd August born. More girls than boys in our class but still all seem to be autumn born! Dd is short too and some of her classmates are a foot taller than her so literally looking down! And she definitely was called “baby” last year.
I’ve been worrying much more about dd this year than anticipated - I guess I thought things would even out quicker than they have.
The teacher also said that as per Cats they really step it up in year one so lots of children struggle with the tiredness/concentration.
Similarly it’s the emotional rather than the academic that worries me.
I’ve been giving a lot of thought of how to help dd socially lately and here’s what I’ve come up with:
Firstly, I’ve been trying to consider supporting dd socially as being equally important as,say, supporting her learning to read - an idea that didn’t really occur to me right away.
Dd was asking for play dates and I had been saying no a lot because I was tired with work and being pregnant with dc3, though I wouldnt dream of not finding time to read with her.
Now dc3 is born I’ve been trying really hard to make sure dd has one play date a week or thereabouts and to prioritise this as much as I do her reading. This has been really helpful. For example, we went through a stage where dd came home from school saying nobody would play with her. I was very sad for some weeks until closer questioning revealed that dd would want to play a certain game and if everyone else wanted to play something different she’d stomp off in a huff.
After a couple of play dates where this started to happen I was able to quickly intervene and say something like,” remember Olivia is our guest, we should ask her what SHE wants to play and then maybe she’ll play your game after”. Dd rapidly improved in considering other children’s preferences and funnily enough, she’s always got people to play with in the playground now that she doesn’t flouce off! So def worth organising so play dates and seeing if you can support your dd in any way.
Also helpful was our decision to have a birthday party for dd. It was tempting just to do something with the family as her birthday is in the summer hols and we weren’t sure she would even enjoy a big party with her class and it was a hassle/expense. But actually it went a long way to making her feel big and important among her classmates, both when she was giving out invites and when the itself day came.
Because dd is our eldest it’s very easy for her frame of reference and ours to be younger children and their toys and games. So I’ve also been trying to chat to friends with older girls to find out what is popular amongst yr 2 and yr3 girls. If a film or something comes out that’s very popular its been helpful to take dd eg we went to see the Trolls movie and OH downloaded to songs to play in the car after. Aside from her loving her special big girl day out, it turned out that lots of girls in her class had seen it and now when they started singing the songs Dd could join in. This would not yet happen without OH and I taking the initiative. Dd is not really socially aware enough to come home and say,”mum all my friends are talking about this film called Trolls, please can we go to see it too?” - she perfectly content to watch Peppa pig with her 2 year old brother. But she loves being able to join in and not feeling left out when this stuff is talked about at school.
I think it’s also helpful to look for other opportunities to hang out with only a few children from the class. Last year before I went on mat leave Dd went to after school club. I realised that although it was long days for dd, it meant a small subset of children from her class- 4 or 5, to get to know in a less structured environment. That was actually quite helpful and she knows them better. So with extra curricular stuff (only swimming currently) I try to match the time up with friends so it’s also a social activity.
Final thought is don’t write off the boys. Dd often prefers to play with them (partly because it’s less socially demanding I think) so I’m trying to include play dates with boys too.
Hmm, long post. I’ve been thinking about this even more than I realised.