Toddler meltdowns at outings

[Crazylou]

DS is 3 in few months, when going out to social environments like breakfast outings with Disney characters and party games etc he gets all upset starts crying screaming if they come near him even though he likes seeing them and doesn't do what I ask him to do and will not sit at peace when I try to calm him down he won't participate in any the activities, when I tell him he can't go in certain areas in premises he has screaming meltdowns when I try to bring him away from that location, he just seems to be constantly on the go wants to run about and will not sit down to eat if there's distractions round about him like parks outside, toy areas, etc I can't go to softplays without making sure he eats in the house before going as he won't eat in those places, he will play and dance and colour in house no problem but is extremely hyper will not sit down concrete on anything for more than 10mins, just keeps running about, when out for play dates he will act the same way all the time, I can't take him to public toilets as he screams when the hand driers get used

How is his speech?

Speech seems ok he can talk in sentences but still words that you can't understand, he hits at himself when you try to tell him off or to help calm him down when upset, he just likes to throw everything

He is still very little and while some toddlers take all this in their stride these environments and activities are overwhelming for many others. Even if he likes Disney characters a giant mouse head looming over him could scare many little kids, and what would be a treat to an older child can just be too much for them. "Sitting at peace" is not what I associate with under-threes on an outing, though there are some who do, so if he doesn't enjoy "breakfast outings with Disney characters" and doesn't behave well then then leave it for a year or two.

Take him where he can play the way he wants to, places where he can run around freely and you don't have to be endlessly saying no. He is still young enough to be highly sensitive to noise and to other sensory things, like new places, strong smells, unfamiliar foods. Being unable to cope with the noise of hand driers is very common and can last a few more years, his ears are still much more sensitive than ours. And throwing things when he's overwhelmed is not uncommon at his age. Follow his needs, take him to fewer of these "fun" but stressful places, don't stay too long on playdates or in places where he has to sit nicely, and don't stay for food if you go to softplay. Keep it low stress for both of you.

Chances are he'll outgrow most of it given a bit more time.