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Some suggestions about alternative rewarding ways?

3 replies

tryinghardtohide · 15/01/2018 16:10

DS doesn't bother much with winning stars at home. I struggle to come up with an effective rewarding system without using new toys or money.

So he's five years and a half now. I want to develop lots of good habits with him, but short of ideas on how. Lecturing never worked...

Can someone share your good ideas? Thank you!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Witchend · 15/01/2018 16:26

Ds hated, and still doesn't really like, stickers. The most effective for him is a viewable reward. Do this and then I'll go out and kick a football for 10 minutes or if you'd done 10 minutes of that then you can have a biscuit.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 17/01/2018 02:30

Neither of mine bought into star or sticker charts...they were like Hmm because they knew that there was no real value in it.

I don't and never have used food as a reward....not a good idea ever.

I think that natural consequences work best.

So for example "Time to tidy your room" used to result in DD saying she didn't want to and would do it later...we're talking a MESSY room.

Few days later she'd want a friend to sleepover and I'd say no...because her room wasn't tidy.

Member212711 · 17/01/2018 12:43

My DS at this age was starting to compare himself to others - so lots of 'so and so doesn't have to [insert task here] so why do I'. I found that it helped seeing what other local parents of slightly older boys were doing - my DS very easily influenced by thoughts that older children were doing it! Lots of them had agreed lists on the wall - for example, empty bins, unload washing machine, set table (whatever is on your list); and no noticeable reward. It was explained that everyone in the family had to do 'jobs' and that these were theirs. This has worked best for us. Still have the untidy room though - and the only way I have ever managed to sort this one is to do it with him. The last sorting/cleaning session does seem to be ended up with a tidy room that has lasted some time (mind you, he is now 11)!

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