Biting and hitting at Nursery

[ArthurSidebottom]

I could really do with some advice. My 2.3 year old is refusing to sleep at Nursery and then is biting and hitting the staff because he is so tired. Recently this has got much worse and it's been bad enough that an incident report was written up. At home when he gets grumpy we know that he's tired and he goes down for a nap (usually one to two hours) and wakes up much more cheerful.

The staff at Nursery have tried getting him to nap but he just gets more and more upset, there's no separate room for them to nap just an alcove with a sofa and mats for them to sleep on. He also cries every day when I drop him off but his key worker says he settles within a few minutes and usually has a lovely time. I have no concerns about the nursery as he's previously been happy and the staff are all lovely.

I guess part of my concern is that I have mental health problems (depression and psychosis) and I'm worried this a sign that this has impacted him in some way. Nothing has changed at home.

I'm not sure what to do to address the behaviour (he slaps and scratches at home when he's tired and upset) or how to help him feel more secure at Nursery and would love some ideas! Is this something he will grow out of or is there something I could do?

Has anything else changed at nursery? Has he always cried when you drop him off? When you ask how they are managing his behaviour, what do they say?

I'm a bit baffled by the idea of writing an incident report on a toddler. If he napped before without a problem, presumably something has triggered this. Are the nursery trying early enough to get him to nap? (Sounds like he's past the point of tiredness and getting really distressed.)

This does genuinely sound like a normal toddler phase though - not anything to fret over, or worry that it is related to your own mental health.

He's moved up a room. So there's been a change in setting, the staff ratio and in key worker. In the previous room he was more settled, sometimes cried in the morning but was usually keen to start playing.

I think that the move has unsettled him. They've said they're going to try and anticipate him getting tired and try getting him to nap earlier. For the hitting they said they're going to try not to react as he may be doing it to get a response. He's had a better day today so there's hope!

That makes complete sense - he's unsettled by the change. Can they give him a more structured day, and ensure he goes down to nap at a fixed time? This too will pass.

Thank you Gnus . It's helped to talk about it.

I've just done bedtime, he seemed to respond to "kind hands" so we'll build on that.