Making friends / defiant preschooler

[MrsMaker88]

Hi - I’m new! Looking for help as I just dont know what’s the right approach. My daughter is nearly four and has a best friend who is a boy that we’ve known since they were tiny (i know the mum and dad). He is a lovely boy and they are close. She talks about playing with a couple of kids at preschool but she doesn’t seem to have made any friendships and today told me that other kids dont like her. My husband is concerned that she is not able to make friendships of her own and wants her to make other friends, esp in case something happens with her one good friend. The preschool say that girls’ friendships were already established before DD started (but also that my DD struggles / gets a bit lost in big groups). They mentioned today that she can be a bit defiant and that is coming out more this week at the same time she mentioned to me this issue about not being liked by some of the others. She does like to get her own way, they said. I dont know if its the right thing to push her to make a bunch of other friends if she is happy with her close friend, but the fact that she has now mentioned it has worried me, plus I’m concerned her behaviour may stop her from making friends (I’m working on That side of things too...)
What do you think? :-) Do kids need more than one friend, by four should they be making friendships, is it normal for them to mention not being liked?

Here's hoping someone comes along who can speak to the 'is it normal for them to mention not being liked'. I can say children that young don't always have that many friends - it's more often people that they see a lot of, rather than personal choice. One way to help, if big groups are difficult (for her or you) is to invite one of them over for a playdate. At 4 their parent will probably stay as well. Do you know any of the other parents? Is there anywhere else that you have noticed these problems - in a local park with other kids for example? My suggestion is lead by example, make a new friend at the preschool and take it from there. I am interested by the suggestion that friendship groups have already been made - they will have been made by the parents (who, like I discovered in my area, had all gone to school together), but there are plenty of opportunities to make new groups. Perhaps even see if she would like to join a local group - eg there is a great dance class near me.

Thank you! I’m a park she is very forward in interacting with others. She also had never had a problem one on one actually. It really is just in the larger pre school setting. It wouldn’t hurt me to be more sociable with one or two Mums. The pre school have mentioned a couple of children who are probably more timid that she could meet up with but I’m not sure if she’d be better off mixing with another child who is quite feisty and will encourage her to see that if she wants to play together with them they might need to find a nice compromise.