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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

36mth old runner-off, too old for reins or buggy? Help please

29 replies

viticella · 24/04/2007 21:03

This is doing my head in. DS1 has just turned three but he WILL NOT walk nicely to follow me when we're out. I always have DS2 in buggy so I can't just chase him and can't always hold hands securely (he really resists handholding with me, fine with anyone else).

I'm afraid I usually resort to strapping him in buggy (It's a phil& ted's so I can double it up if I want) or reins but starting to feel he's too old for this. I just cannot trust him in busy public places not to run off and get lost - he thinks it's really funny to run away. I end up continuously calling him back and making a scene of it.

Also he does get tired walking and often asks to be carried or go in pushchair. So it's not really a punishment/consequence to strap him in.

I guess it's a bit of a power struggle thing but I can't figure out how to "train" him to stay close, and I've tried! I'm a bit worried that without practice he won't learn, so we'll never improve.

I have a long journey to manage next week and could do without taking the double buggy - any ideas for a boot camp?

OP posts:

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babyblue2 · 24/04/2007 21:08

Why not get a buggy board?

JoPG · 24/04/2007 21:12

What about one of those long strap type things that they wear round their wrist and you hold the other end?
DS was 3.5 when I had DD and he used to run off at the shops. I used to tell him that I would use the strap thing if he did it again, and I would them follow through and use it. He didn't like it cos he thought he was too big and that it was for babies, he soon learnt that it was best not to run off.

MrsApron · 24/04/2007 21:13

Katymac · 24/04/2007 21:15

I do the
"Walk nicely like a big boy or you can have reigns"

Hold the reigns in your hand and strap them on at the first sign of running off. Plus combine with a star chart if he's good while you are out

ScoobyDooooo · 24/04/2007 21:18

Hmm my ds done this & it is so hard when you have a child who likes to run off it really got me down!

Ds was 3.3 when my dd was born i brought a double buggy & a buggy board when i was pregnant with dd because i was so worried what i was going to do with ds. to be honest when he reached about 3.6 he started to stop running off so i did not really have a problem in the end, before this i used one of the straps someone else has mentioned & just said he would have to wear it unless he stayed with me or in my site, he hated the strap so stopped.

cybele · 24/04/2007 21:19

Yup I'm lurking too. My DD is 2.5 and would happily throw herself in front of a bus. I live in constant fear! DS was never like that, but at that age I always had baby DD in buggy so i just got him to hold on to buggy at all times. At the mo i use reins but she doesn't half hate them.

LIZS · 24/04/2007 21:26

You can get kiddy back packs with reins built in - a bit less babyish perhaps ? Or tell him to hold the side of the buggy .

cybele · 24/04/2007 21:27

I find that using reins is more of a punishment for me as DD just tries to hang off them and we never get anywhere! Very frustrating.

Original poster

viticella · 24/04/2007 21:29

I guess I just worry he wouldn't stay on a buggy board, maybe need to borrow one to try out. I do threaten and use reins but it doesn't make any difference the next time, and we've been doing it for months!

I do get him to hold onto the buggy but basically have to be reminding him every 30 seconds and the moment a stupid coin-op ride/puddle/dog/crisp packet catches his eye, he's off!

Good point about rewarding good behaviour, I suppose I have overlooked the obvious there

OP posts:

cybele · 24/04/2007 21:29

Viticella if he resists handholding how does he feel about holding the buggy?

cybele · 24/04/2007 21:29

oops!

cybele · 24/04/2007 21:32

buggy boards are good. I think sheer laziness makes them attractive for little ones!! Depends how you feel about pushing a baby AND a three year old about if there are any steep hills around!

sunnysideup · 24/04/2007 22:03

i think a buggy board is the way to go so that he can get a lift. He's very tiny still and will get tired walking, very understandably.

and personally I don't feel they are too old for a buggy or reins until they can walk nicely next to you and you CAN trust them. With me this happened when ds was four, not three.

i think your ds is very young indeed and probably should still have reins/buggy. At very least a buggy board to help him out.

sunnysideup · 24/04/2007 22:04

if you think he wouldn't even stay on a buggy board, then he needs reins basically.

sunnysideup · 24/04/2007 22:05

and a seat on the buggy for when he's tired and/or bored.
I'll stop peppering you with posts now.

3littlefrogs · 24/04/2007 23:40

My boys had to be on reins until they were nearly 4, otherwise they would have been killed by car, bus or some other disaster. Very simple. Until they are safe to walk nicely and not run off, you have to keep them on them. However, dd was always so good and sensible practically from birth, she really didn't need them. It very much depends on the child.
I am absolutely horrified by how careless so many people are with their children these days - it only takes a second for a toddler to run into the road. I would never think badly of a mum who had a 4 year old on reins - I would just assume it was necessary and she was taking good care of her child.

Skribble · 24/04/2007 23:55

I used reins too when DS was 3, can't hold his hand and push a pram so I looped the reins over my arm. If he walked nicely he got a loose rein if he didn't it was tightened. Then he got to walk with them on but me not holding if he walked beside me and held the pram if it was busy or crossing. Any carry on and I would take hold of the reins again.

You might have to do a week or two of this really strictly to get him "trained" but it is worth it to be able to go for a walk and not be constantly pulling them about and going mad.

Think puppy on a lead and do a few trips first specificly to practice, just short walks with lots of praise for walking nicely or tight rein and no other attention when not walking nicley. So boot camp yes .

nappyaddict · 25/04/2007 03:33

some children just don;t have sense of danger at this age. my cousins twins were in a pushchair until they were 4 for this reason.

Limoncella · 25/04/2007 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

sweetkitty · 25/04/2007 13:38

DD1 is 2.9yo and the same a runner. She will walk beside me for a short period but I wouldn't trust her near traffic etc. I am trying to persuade DP to buy me a P&T (also am ttc no3 soon). I have a wrist strap I sometimes use as well.

juuule · 25/04/2007 13:52

I'd say reins or pushchair for now in order to keep him safe. I have done the same as Katymac - walk nicely or wear reins.

alison222 · 25/04/2007 14:02

Another in agreement with KatyMac here. My DS was dreadful at running off and it was a stay with me or use the reins. I even used to keep them in the buggy when he started school nursery at age nearly 4. I used them once on the way back when he was running away. He was so embarrased at this age I din't ever have to do it again

gess · 25/04/2007 14:04

ds1 has his version of reins on sometimes and he is 8 (with SN). Needs must; he always has them on unless I have 2 hands spare to deal with him. With ds2 I just used to threaten that he would go on ds1's reins and then he'd walk nicely.

vitomum · 25/04/2007 14:08

he sounds like my ds viticella. i have just strated using the wrist strap and it works really well. I've told him it is so he doesn't have to hold hands (which he hates). When we are out he gets 2 choices - buggy or wrist strap.

kels666 · 25/04/2007 14:55

My 2 yr old dd is a runner. She flops onto the ground if I put reins on her. ditto if I try to hold her hand. She also wriggles out of the buggy.

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