Not dry at night

[meandmytinfoilhat]

Apologies if this is in the wrong place.

My 6 year old son isn't dry at night. We've tried a bed wetting alarm - he was exhausted with it going off constantly.

We've reduced fluids before bed, prompting to go for a wee several times before he goes to sleep, we've purposely not used the pull up pants and he wets 3/4/5 times a night and doesn't wake up.

It was suggested to us by the school nurse that we lift him to the loo before bed, we did but he still wet.

Sometimes his pull ups are hardly wet in the morning and sometimes they are full.

I wasn't particularly worried about it but it seems to be getting my son down, he hates that he's the only one of his friends that's not dry during the night.

I think that there’s a hormone that they have to produce before they can become dry. It might be worth going to the doctor so that they can see if he is proving the hormone.

I phoned the school nurse but they said that because he's under 7, it's not a concern. I understand their point but it's really upsetting my son.

I'll try my GP.

It is perfectly normal. You’d be surprised how many older children this affects.

I don't know and am not asking if it is true in your DS's case but heredity is said to play a part and I know that my DH's honesty with our children made an enormous difference to them - both in knowing that this stage would pass, that it was not their fault. We simply said that it was perfectly normal, children all did things at different ages - all ours could read relatively early so pointed to that - and we understood because Daddy had also wet his bed when he was little but had stopped when his body was ready and started producing a special chemical which helped to stay dry through the night. Eventually - at least for the 4 older ones - that prophesy proved true. I am convinced that kindness, understanding and nappies are the only things that really help anybody and I'm sure you are using those. I do not think cutting down on fluids helps, as going to bed thirsty is not good and concentrated urine can irritate both bladder and skin. We were told that lifting, unless the child is thoroughly woken, only encourages sleep wetting. MY DH had a dreadful time with a sadistic matron at a bad prep school so I do sympathise with any child who is feeling miserable about this which is why I feel so strongly about the "remedies" I suggested above and doing everything one can to reassure, even when the washing machine has broken down and it's raining outside!

My lovely DS1 was not dry until he was about 7. Once his body was ready he stopped wetting the bed completely. I still insist that he tries for a wee every night before bed just to help him along though.

We found that pull ups/ pyjama pants meant that his sleep was not being interrupted and it helped to make it less of a big deal because he just took the wet pull up off each morning with no need for intervention or comment from me. You can get pyjama pants with Spiderman, motor bikes etc on them to help them feel less babyish.

There’s a similar thread in AIBU, very useful!

The charity ERIC has fantastic information on their website. When ds1 was still wetting at 7 there was at least 3 other children in his class who were still wetting. As pp have said it is caused by a combination of heavy sleeping, not drinking enough during the day, genetics, and hormone not being produced. You can work on lots of drinks during the day and then stopping about 1-2 hours before bed. The dr may give hormones but that is not an easy fix. It just masks it or the amount given isn’t enough. The answer really is time. Ds1 was 10yrs when he was dry and we did a combination of lots of drinks, medication and then the alarm. We were very regimented and persistent with it all and ds1 was very motivated as he wanted to be dry for school PGL trip. Lifting is generally not recommended as it teaches them to wee at night. 6 years is so young.