How do you cope with super fussy eater(21months old)

[Lskz]

Hi everyone,
I am looking for some advice/support.
My 21months old doesn’t eat at all, he is underweight and growing very slowly. He weighs 20lbs, however when he stops to eat at all it drops to 19 then he gains it back but been like this for the last 6months. GPs, HV... no help from them, I am tired of asking a help. At his nursery he can eat one day ok(half lunch, 1/4 of his tea) then at home he doesn’t eat at all. We eat altogether, every evening I cook from the scratch for the following day dinner so he has freshly cooked meal after nursery. However, he can make one bite/try if we are lucky. Weekends are nightmare as he literally doesn’t eat anything only milkshake(was prescribed by gp). He drinks 6-7oz in total of that milkshake. This long weekend is being hell for us as he has eaten 3 fusilli pasta for the last 4days and one clementine!!! That’s it, 6-7oz milkshake as regular. I am literally losing my sanity, I just sit in the kitchen and cry as I don’t know how to help him. I think at the point of acceptance that he will be always short and slim like malnourished kid but I want to find a way to accept it and learn to live with it. Any advice on how to cope and learn how to be indifferent to his eating disorder will be helpful. Sorry for many words, I don’t know where else to write to speak with.

I’ve had one who was, and still is, a fussy eater but this does sound extreme. I’d both go to the GP with him. It’s a sad fact but GOs do tend to listen when both parents turn up instead of just Mum.

Keep a food diary to take with you and insist that the GP weighs and measure him and records it on his height and weight charts. The Paeditrician will need these measurements as a base line. You may need to push for the Paeditrician’s referral, but if he’s not tracking his centiles, he does need a referral.

Whilst you are waiting for the appointment, try to offer foods in different settings. Have a carpet picnic with his teddy bear, let him have a sandwich in front of the tv or take a picnic to the park and let him have a bite between rides.

Have a read of Help! My Child Won’t Eat.

As I’ve said I have a fussy eater but I’ve begun (eventually) to realise that she has sensory issues and mealtimes have become much easier.

Let us know how you get on

Thank you for your reply.
We went to see a paed in August, privately as I couldn’t get a referral from our GP. I did all the tests and we found his iron level was a bit low, his bone growth was behind by 3 months. The paed suggested to accept the fact he doesn’t eat, not to press him and just monitor the kid and make sure he is not pale, slow and etc( all other signs of low energy level, etc). I am planing to go back in Jan-Feb, will try to get a referral this time again.
As you suggested I take him to a cafe and try to sit next to a table with kids eating(ridiculous), to a park and try to feed him between rides, invite mumswith other kids, even put him videos of kids eating on YouTube and all other crazy things.
So, I just think I need to learn not to get upset when he doesn’t eat. Easy said than done, I was ok for the first 3 days but now he hasn’t eaten even a single meal since last Friday and I am just loosing my mind.
How did you find out that your daughter has sensory issues?
Thanks for the link, I am going to read it now.
Thanks again

She’s not been officially diagnosed. My DSis has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and I’ve been reading up on how it presents in girls. DH and are CAnt quite agree on whether to try to get her diagnosed or not but at the moment we are sort of asd7ming she has it and have just stopped offering foods that she won’t eat, ie anything with a sauce. Today we went for lunch with DGPs and all shecwoukd eat is a bag of crisps. DGM was horrified but I’ve long since accepted that if we want to go out, I just have to accept that she will only eat what she wants to and it’s not behavioural, it’s just how she’s wired up.

Sorry for the typos

Our GP was also unhelpful when we went to him about DS1's restricted diet. I think it was the health visitor or nursery who referred us to a dietician.

Google the 'infant and toddler forum', some really good advice there.

We have ongoing issues with DS1, he currently is only eating bread sticks. He is autistic and has huge sensory issues with his mouth.

It's so upsetting seeing him struggle with food. He does drink formula though so we know he is getting some nutrients. We also have been prescribed a supplement called serevit (spelling? ) that we can add to drinks.

Our dietician analyses his diet every few months and lets us know whether we need to give him supplements.