3 year old doesn’t want to do anything

[Afterconkerseason]

I’m heavily pregnant and exhausted so that is probably not helping as I have no patience or brain power to deal with this. I’m probably making it worse by being grumpy back to be honest.

The last month or so he just increasingly says no to everything and everything is an argument. He doesn’t want to get dressed, he doesn’t want to come downstairs, he doesn’t want to eat anything, he doesn’t want to go to nursery/the park/the library/literally anywhere.

Doing absolutely anything is only achieved via cajoling, negotiating and tears. I’m too big now to pick him up etc so really just having to rely on convincing him to do things. We only got him out of the house this morning because I literally put my coat on and put all the bags in the car so he relented because he thought I would go without him so I feel terrible about that now.

I don’t know if I can keep this up for another month before baby 2 comes and then with a newborn!!

Desperate for advice!

Glad it's not just me, my DS (3.4) is like this at the moment too. He doesn't want to go to the toilet, get dressed, or go out most of the time (except to nursery, thank god). I think/hope it's mostly a 3 year old phase - asserting independence etc?

I find it helps to get him ready as soon as possible in the morning, even if it's a weekend. At least then the battle is out of the way and we're ready to go out. Plus it keeps the routine consistent for him.
It does often feel like a battle though. To put it into perspective, it can often take 20 minutes just to get him to put his clothes on. Requires the patience of a saint.

The resistance to going out anywhere really annoys me. I think he is genuinely happy to stay at home a lot of the time, but I don't feel like it's healthy for him to stay in day after day. I also have a 3 month old and feel like I go a bit stir crazy if I'm in all the time. I have lowered my expectations on this a lot though - it takes so much cajoling to get him to go out (plus obv having to get baby ready too), that I don't generally aim to go out more than once per day (including little trips like playground or local shops). Also, if he says he wants to go somewhere, then I just go with it even if it's not the place I would really like to go. I do think I need to start a routine with going out, so that we are going out in the morning at about the same time every day. At least then he will be in a more consistent routine.

My 3 year old doesn’t want to do anything either. I started a thread about it a few weeks ago, so I’m reassured to see other people are in a similar situation.

My older child was never like this so it’s a bit of a shocker. I think he’d be content to stay inside all day, looking at books, watching TV (which I try to limit) and playing .

Thanks both for your replies! I sorry you’re struggling too but like you say, it’s good to know it’s not just me!!

He’s been very tired and overwhelmed with the excitement of Christmas so behaviour has been up and down but I can’t blame him for that it’s been a bit manic!

I’m going to try enforcing a stricter routine and seeing if that helps calm things down a little, and getting him ready first thing so leaving the house is less of a battle. Ugh here’s hoping 2018 sees the back of the threenager phase!

My nearly 3 yr old is like this at the moment. No to shoes, park, swimming, nursery, feeding ducks, friend house. We do that (cringe) Michael McIntyre sketch thing of pretending to leave the house. He gets upset but I’m not sure what else to do sometimes if we HAVE to go somewhere like the Doctors or for the 3 month olds Jabs etc. Bribery helps (sticker chart with reward at the end of the week, usually CBeebies magazine) but sometimes he just doesn’t care if he gets it or not. Totally frustrating to the point where I see red and have to leave the room before I get really cross.

Once we’re out he’s a cutie, smiling at all the old ladies and saying thank you to the bloke in the post office. Little git. I hoping this phase ends soon. Getting him dressed as soon as he wakes up (about 6.30am) helps (DP does that bit and breakfast & teeth) otherwise come 9ish he’s hell to move.

Thank god it's not just me! My 2.5 year old has started refusing to go out, won't let me put his coat or shoes on. Have to physically wrestle him into the pram with him crying and thrashing, argh. Feel terrible about it but he has to go out sometimes! Have a 9 week old baby too just to make it more difficult. I think that's part of the problem to be honest. He kicks off when I put her in the carrier and says he wants to go in it then asks to leave her behind when we go out. I think he also doesn't like cold weather!