should my 5 year old get santa presents

[mummyme93]

So this has been a problem thats been getting worse over the month with my 5 yr son, probably due to the excitement of Christmas.
Some of the things he does maybe be small, but he constantly does them through out the day. He throws food on the floor, will snatch and not share toys with his 2yr brother. He shouts back when im talking to him, and he's going out of his way to disrupt what im doing or purposefully annoying me, ( while shopping he runs off and hides, when im pushing the pram he will walk and stop in front of the pram constantly, small things like this ) He is very defiant through out the day. When being told off or disciplined he laughs, mimics me or generally is disrespectful. If i ask him to do some chores he will be very defiant, no do it. Usually any instruction i give him he will resist.
He trys to get his younger brother to do naughty things, when in his room hes ripped off his wall paper, torn up books and made his room look like a bomb shell.
The other day he punched his 2rr bother in the face and gave him a bruised eye and nose bleed because he took his toy off him.

So i talked to him, tried punishment, reward, positive discipline. ive said father Christmas wants to see all the good things you're doing. But he will say i hate father Christmas, i dont want anything from him or i dont believe in him.

So i know Christmas is meant to be about giving, having fun ect, but after me saying to my son that if he wants gifts he should be good or father Christmas wont come, i feel like i should follow through with the idea, otherwise whats the point in me saying it at all.

Thanks for the time in reading this

If he is 5 has he just starts school this year? I remember when ds(13) started school his behaviour deteriorated especially on the run up to Xmas as he was basically exhausted. A consistently earlier bedtime (7-7:30ish) worked wonders for him, it meant weekday evening were basically pick up from afterschool, homework, dinner, quick play, bath, book and bed but it was worth it as he was much happier.

You say his behaviour has worsened over the month and you have tried punishment, reward, positive discipline that is a lot to try in a small space of time.

I would stick with one age appropriate punishment and apply consistently every time (unless he is obviously very tired, then just get him to bed a calmly as possible), explain to him what the consequences of his actions will be, it may take a few weeks to sink in. With ds we did the usual time out to calm down for 5 mins (never called naughty step), he would then need to tell us what he did wrong and apologise, if he couldn't tell us what he did wrong he was back in time out to think harder. Laughing or mimicking would have resulted staying in time out until he did his 5 minutes quietly. He has been in timeout for nearly an hour before, but he quickly learned it was easier to apologise. Then if he misbehaved again it was straight back into time. It was exhausting, but applied consistently he soon learned.

It is much harder when out, I always insisted from a young age ds held my hand or the buggy/trolley when out so I could see he was safe, he was never allowed to wander in shops so never did and I usually constantly distracted him with chat, questions and pointing things out. Not sure at 5 how I would have handled it.

Sounds like he is giving you a tough time, I'm not sure if I could cancel Xmas for him when his little brother will be getting presents. I'm also not sure if it would be an effective punishment as there is no incentive for him to try to behave for another year once its done, but as you have already told him it is a consequence of his behaviour it is also a tough one not following through.

Thanks for the reply. Usually we do time out with him which usually works. But now after his time out he Carry's on with his behaviour. So I tried something new when he was naughty he would help me round d the house with chores. This didn't always work because he can't help me with everything so there's a limited amount of chores he can do. We have a sticker chart but he got bored of that.neo crime he's just stubborn, if he doesn't want to behave a certain was no matter the reward or punishment he will dig his heels on and say he doesn't care or want rewarding. Thanks for the reply though. I might put potatoes i n his story king and say when he's naughty, some press ts turn to potatoes that way he still gets his gifts while running yes missed out too