Recommendations child psychologist SW London for 4.0 years old

[Batterseapark]

Hi everyone,
Would some of you have a recommendation for a child psychologist (possibly educational psychologist?) in south west London for a 4.0 years old please?

Our son keeps hitting other children at nursery.
Nursery obviously want to stamp the problem out (us too!) but keep saying "we need to work TOGETHER on this", suggesting the issue comes from our parenting. Now I'm certain our parenting can be improved. At the same time we've never encouraged hitting others, we don't hit our child and I think we are average to good parents.
So whilst working WITH the nursery (), I'd really like for someone to assess our child to see if there are underlying issues.

Thanks for your help 😃

I haven’t got a recommendation but am interested to know what the nursery are doing when he hits and what their strategies are to prevent the hitting?

I think engaging a psychologist would be an overreaction at this stage unless you have other concerns about your son.
Most four year olds know that hitting other children is wrong but some are a little behind with their emotional development and find it hard to control their impulses when annoyed.
That doesnt mean a SN or long term delay. Kids develop at different rates.

Can nursery see a pattern to his hitting? Is he doing it when someone takes something off him or has something he wants? Is he doing it to get another child's attention? Is he always cross when he does it?
Does he do it anywhere other than nursery? Does he do it in the afternoon when tired or before lunch when hungry?

Are there any concerns about his speech or hearing?

YY to finding out what the nursery are doing to tackle it and what they think the reason is.

I think all your questions are absolutely valid and I have been asking myself the same.

Can nursery see a pattern to his hitting?
Does he do it in the afternoon when tired or before lunch when hungry?
I keep asking this but they seem unable to be specific when I ask.
Although a lot of incidents happen before or at meal times.

Is he doing it when someone takes something off him or has something he wants?
A few times (minority) this was the cause. I'm not too concerned about those events. The children need to learn to live together.
Most of the time they tell me they don't know why or it's out of the blue.

Is he doing it to get another child's attention?
This has never been mentioned.

Is he always cross when he does it?
I don't know.

Does he do it anywhere other than nursery?
He can have huge meltdowns or stand offs when with us too. But again some of those happen when I pick him up from nursery and they reported hitting others.

Does he do it in the afternoon when tired or before lunch when hungry?

Are there any concerns about his speech or hearing?
I don't think so. I have to declare that a few months ago my son's eyes started turning in and no one said anything. He now wears glasses (a strong prescription according to the optician). This is one reason I'd prefer someone external to see him because if the nursery completely missed something that I believe was obvious, what else are they missing?

The hitting has been going on for 4 months and only now have I been formally called for a meeting with the managers.
The strategies they now mention are reinforcement of positive behaviour + learning that bad behaviour has consequences by removing "privileges" (such as not being a helper or skipping an activity).

Finally, although I understand children can hit, the other children this age I know do not do that on a regular basis and so yes, I find it concerning (not least for the children my son hits).

Sorry forgot to say that so far the nursery hasn't given me a reason for this behaviour. They keep talking to me about next year (when he starts school) and how they won't want bad behaviour.

Is the nursery part of the same school?

No, two different places.

Personally, I wouldn’t worry too much. From what you say the Nursery don’t seem to be dealing with this in a brilliant way. 4 year olds need instant dealing with for any undesirable behaviour. They should also be keeping an extra eye on him.

Could something have changed in the last 4 months. Have a lot of his friends gone to school/new children in class/change of room etc?

How’s his speech too?

Thank you EveryOneTalkAboutPopMusic for saying that 4 years old need instant dealing with undesirable behaviour. This exactly what I have been saying (I clearly said don't give chances, follow the reflection corner policy and remove if necessary, I also suggested writing a quick list of incidents so that if the same thing happens again we start seeing a pattern and we can start to address it - I don't think this was done wholeheartedly).
I have felt quite powerless and have been dreading picking up my son from nursery.

Otherwise yes, he did move room in September and a number of children moved to pre-school where they might be in reception.

I think his speech is OK. He's bilingual so across both languages I think he's fine but obviously in English his vocabulary might not quite be as developed as monolingual kids (typically a lot of girls in his room seem to speak very well indeed).

I think you are dealing with this very sensibly and it’s good that he will be going to a different primary school.

I think the hitting could be down to tiredness, coping with a new room, new routine and new people and dare I say it, a lack of proper supervision.

Thanks EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic. Hopefully now the managers are involved, there will be proper supervision (not sure why the room teachers couldn't do that themselves).

If it’s any help, though to be honest it probably won’t be, our DS was constantly being hit by one boy in pre-school. We complained to the manager, not because he was being hit but because they weren’t doing enough to supervise the boy who was doing the hitting. Once we complained and they kept a closer eye on things, the hitting stopped.

Hopefully, this will be the end of it

A glimmer of hope...

If you have any time off over Christmas, I’d try to have a few off days where you can have a cuddle and watch a film. Poor love sounds exhausted.

Am curious to know which nursery this is if you don't mind sharing? It doesn't reflect very well on them. (I am local to you and my son has just started at one with initials BL).