throwing, hitting and saying NO - im at the end of my tether

[vnmum]

my 16 month old DS has started throwing things and hitting me. he is launching things, toys, books etc sometimes across the room or sometimes he just repeatedly throws them. i have told him no and after 3 tellings i take the article off him. he is not taking any notice of me and when he throws things he then looks at me and says no, as if he knows hes not meant to do it.

Ds has also started to hit me on the face when im trying to get him to sleep. i normally cuddle him to sleep but if he doesnt seem happy with that i lie next to him and he falls asleep on his own (i cosleep with his cot at the bedside). Recently he has been hitting me hard when im cuddling him and ive told him sternly "no hitting, hurts mummy" but it seems to no avail.

can anyone help me in what to do with him?

bump

He is only sixteen months. you have to put everything throwable up high, well out of his reach. He thinks you are playing a game.

Why do you want him next to you to sleep? Perhaps he is ready to go to bed and sleep in his own space. My boys were both in their own rooms by 16 months, and the eldest was in a bed with a side rail because he hated his cot.

I have to go and bath dd now, so will check back later.

Distraction tactics required - , say we don't throw books as they might hurt somebody in a normal voice and then get him interested in something else. " Oh look at that nice flower".

He is much to young to require discplining, when he hits you he is just trying to play. Give him a big hug and blow on his stomach and watch his giggle.

DH regularly plays - jump on dad with our boys ( 6 and 4). Boys like rough and tumble

If DS (21 mths) starts throwing things I simply take them off him and put them out of his reach explaining why - he doesn't get them back until his tantrum is forgotten. I try not to react too much (it is sooo hard not too) as it does seem to make him worse.

If he hits pinches or bites then, then like you, I just tell him it is wrong and that it makes me sad, then I put him down immediately and go and do something else.

It sounds like your DS already sort of knows his behaviour is naughty. I'm hoping it is just a passing phase where they are testing their boundaries.

Would also agree that distraction is the key

Deal as calmly as possible with the bad behaviour, and ignore anything that's ignorable, and heap praise on him when he's being well behaved. The Toddler Taming book, can't rememeber who it's by, is very sensible and gives some ideas about things to try. think the stuff in it does apply to very young toddlers like your DS.

For throwing, when you take the article off him try giving him a small soft ball instead.

The fact he's looking at you and saying no shows that he sees this purely as a game, nothing more....so when he throws, say no then immediately, straight away distract him with another activity. At this age distraction is your biggest ally.

If he hits you in the face when you're trying to settle him, tell him 'No' and that you don't stay to be hit. Leave him and go to the other side of the room or go out. Come back very quickly, but always make the point by moving away and ignoring him. This will work far better than staying next to him and saying "that hurts mummy", tbh at this age you could be saying ANYTHING, he's not really caring - so long as you stay with him, he thinks what he's doing is fine because it has no consequence for him!

I have bee reading the Toddler Taming book by Dr Christopher Green for the last hour. I have a 2 1/2 yr old boy who thinks he runs the world and me!!The book is just gives us parents some comfort, guidance and understanding as to why they are displaying the behaviour and ways to manage it! Would really recommend a purchase.

I agree fish, it is a brilliant book and so 'sane' about it all - doesn't take life too seriously which helps make it not all seem so important.

And it makes you realise that all the things they do are a natural part of their development. I think he's really good at making people look at their expectations of young toddlers, eg not expecting too much of them in terms of understanding and behaviour.

thanks everyone, i will try the suggestions and will order the book, im due to place an order with amazon anyway so i can just add it in. i have read "the good behaviour book" by dr sears which is good but it doesnt really tackle individual issues.

3littlefrogs, i cosleep as DS is still breastfed and still wakes at night, so i get more sleep this way. i am trying to night wean him and gradually get him into his own room as im pregnant but its not going smoothly and im taking it in small steps due to DS' personality (change upsets him considerably). he is now sleeping all night in his cot next to the bed as opposed to in the bed with me so i am working on getting him to go to sleep on his own, then we will put him in his bed in our room but away from our bed, then hopefully be able to move him to his new room before the baby arrives. if not we'll have a very full bedroom. lol