Suggestions for 5 year old ds who can't amuse himself

[StickyNote]

It's week one of the holidays and already ds is hanging around saying "what can I dooooo", which needless to say is driving me up the wall. He's very good at helping me around the house but I'm concerned that he doesn't seem to be able to make up any games by himself. I spent a great deal of time as a child playing on my own so I'm struggling to understand him.

Has anyone else had this? Did you find anything or any suggestions that helped?

I find that if i leave ds (8) alone then after whinging for a while he always finds something to do quite happily on his own.

I always found that Dd3 took about a week to be 'de-programmed'from school,then she just got on with stuff that she'd 'forgotten' she was interested in ie making up games,just playing really.

Paper, pencil and crayons. Could also give glue and scissors.

Sprinkler in the garden usually lasts a long time with ds jumping over it etc in his trunks.

Experiments in the bathroom sink with different ingredients, test tubes, soggy paper etc.

Camps in his room.

Pretending he is a soldier in the garden.

My ds1 is the same - he is now 7 whereas ds2 is great at playing on his own. The only things I can suggest - that don't involve tv, gameboys etc are trains - my ds1 loved making big wooden tracks with them and playing for hours. Also play do used to keep him occupied for a while or colouring in. Or if you could get some of his friends round during the holidays - they occupy each other. Will have a wee think and see if I can come up with more!

Thanks for these - I think you're right, he's "coming down" from the organisation of school this week. But I find myself becoming impatient with him as he obviously plays in a very different way to me as a child - my Mum and Dad very rarely played with us (too many chores) on a day to day basis and I used to spend literally hours engrossed in imaginative play. I know I'm being hard on him (sigh)

Sticky - can you set him up with something and then gradually withdraw? I do this with 4.5 year old ds - I often say I'll play for 15 minutes and then I need to do x y and z.

Try setting up a play building site with toy vehicles bits of wood couple of bags of sand blocks lego bricks plastic people sticks cereal packets string plastic pipe yogurt pots cut down water bottles drinking straws etc, some plastic or foil to make ponds and bogs (could use a sand pit or just straight onto patio or grass)

we've been thro' this with dd. i used to set stuff up before i went to bed so she'd be provided with the ideas. so i'd put a blanket on the floor with teddies in a circle...sometimes she would get out food and do a picnic, sometimes something else.
could you have make a train track, set up his garage/animals. tin foil makes good ponds, polystyrene makes good icebergs.
new toys are always a hit.....toy libraries, swap with friends. we've bought 2 cheap toys that have been a big hit. a hoverdisc - 2 quid - like a giant frisbie made out of character helium balloon material. a sponge rocket launcher.

playground chalks/bubbles/paint brush and water/sand are all still big hits

Got my 4yo DS into a local 'Holiday Camp'. Costs £9/half day, but he loves it, and bliss for me if it keeps him happy,gives him something to do, other kids to play with, most days!

Stickynote--lots of good practical suggestions here which I won't be able to add to. . .but want to say that YES! I have this too! Mil says it's my fault because I haven't left him to his own devices enough. Er. . .actually I HAVE. But he's still totally dependent on an adult to amuse him, no matter how much he's encouraged to play on his own.

Like you, I played independently ALL THE TIME as a child and just don't understand this need for constant stimulation.

I'm convinced, though, that there must be some benefits attached to this personality type. Haven't figured them out, though My point is that I sympathize!

StickyNote - my ds1 was just like this at this age, and I picked up a fantastic tip from mumsnet ... it was a couple of years ago, and I can't remember who it was, so can't credit anyone.

A BUSY BOX. On a set of small cards write, draw pictures, or cut out pictures of activities:
playdough, drawing, trainset, duplo, cooking, look at books, play on trike, go to the park, do a jigsaw, watch a video, play on computer, go swimming etc. And put these into a decorated box. I used three different colours of cards:

1. Activities for him to do alone
2. Activities for him to do together with ds2
3. Activities for them to do together with me.

Then when he needed some guidance as to what to do, he got to choose an activity from the busy box. I might say to him - you can choose a 'green' card now whilst I get some jobs done, then you can choose a 'red' one for us to do together after lunch ...

This transformed our holidays, and also reminded them of lots of toys and games that sometimes lay forgotten.

Btw it is definitely a personality-type - ds1 is like this, ds2 isn't. Ds2 would happily play in the garden on his own for 2 hrs at a time when he was just 2 yrs old. At age 5 DS1 couldn't amuse himself for more than 20 mins without some adult interaction, and even now (just 7) would always choose to be one-to-one with an adult given the option.

HTH

You have my sympathies. My 5 year old ds has been like this for as long as I can remember and I hate the fact he can't seem to think of anything to do by himself. Like you I remember having to play by myself as I don't ever remember my parents sitting down and playing with me. My problem is that I find playing children's games soooo boring and these days all my ds wants to do is play bloody football. Something I found to be a crafty way of getting him to do something would be to tell him to tidy his room. He hates doing this so he would go upstairs to his room and within a few minutes would have magically found something more interesting to do! I don't recommend this tactic every day but might just come in handy when you're really going spare! Good luck.