how to cheer up poor ds - not invited to party

[shimmy21]

ds(10) has not been invited to the party of someone who he rates as one of his best friends. All his other friends are going and he's inconsolable.

In fact I feel pretty hurt about it too as I can't really understand why. Ds is usually sociable and has plenty of mates and thought he was one of this guy's best friends. I thought I got on well with the parents too. I just don't really know how to console ds. I've tried saying it must be a numbers thing but ds is convinced 'friend' had a space.

What can I say to make him (and me) feel better?

nothing.

go out on the day in question. and spend a lot of money on something his friends won't have.

tis the only way

Has your DS asked his 'friend' why he hasn't been invited?

I like the idea of spending the hurt away. Am I allowed something for me too?

Ds said he did ask why he wasn't invited and 'friend' just mumbled and looked embarrassed.

Apparently all the other boys were waving their invitations at ds going 'ner ner ne ner ner'.

Little toads.

Get his to say "oh, good job I wasn't invited, I couldn't have come anyway, I am going to X, Y or Z". Or words to that effect.

him, not his*

I would tell me ds to focuss on other friends in future because clearly this particular boy isn't a particularly good friend.

Really feel for your son

maybe the boy was only allowed to invite so many people? are a lot of people invited or just a few?

buy or do whatever the new must have item is for kids his age that no one else has got yet so he will be really really cool!

Horrid, horrid, horrid. My dd1 is often in this situation.

Reminds me of the time I took my kids to a non-local park and bumped into ds's friend who was having a birthday picnic with all his school friends. Don't know who was more devastated, my ds or me . Life goes on though.

must be awful!for both of you.id take him somewhere special.or throw a huge party at yours for him!!

It's a horrible situation, your poor ds. Are you sure the invite hasn't got lost?
You could always ask the child's mother and say something like" This is a bit embarassing but I wanted to check that ds wasn't invited to x's party incase he was and the invite got mislaid etc. etc...."

I've had to do this before. it does make the parent concerned visibly cringe which I think is a good thing. It's really mean not to invite certain children.

How shitty. Has any more been said? If you know the parents why don't you raise the subject eg what's X doing for his birthday this year? and see what's said

is it really ok to ring the parents and ask if they missed him on purpose?? what if they did, doesn't that just make everyone's embarrassment worse? In a grown up equivalent an aunt of mine rang another (more distant) aunt to ask why she and her daughter (and mum and I) hadn't been invited to their son's wedding. It was a numbers thing, I was totally mortified as the distant aunt rang me in huge embarrassment to try and fluff a late invitation and althugh we did end up going and it was lovely, I had to spend a lot of time with distant aunt reassuring her that I was not in any way upset at not being invited, understood completely, did not feel unloved etc. I know it's totally different for kids of course it is, but does it happen often that mums ring to wangle an invite like that? Not trying to stir up a ruck, just wanting to know kids party etiquette for when ds gets to that stage!