2.5yr old...I’m losing my mind...

[MatildasMumma2410]

Long post alert!

I have a 2.5yr old daughter who is becoming increasingly more bossy, grumpy and angry day by day. Don’t get me wrong, she’s also funny, bright and beautiful too but it’s the former points which I’m writing about...
I feel absolutely disgusted in myself because I know her behaviour is all what she’s learnt from me. She yells, she doesn’t do as she’s told, she has tantrums beyond belief and to top it all off lately she’s refusing to stay in bed and go to sleep. She also hits and pinch’s others and herself when things don’t go her way. Im feeling so angry at myself for being so stressed out around her - I yell at her in such an awful way because I’m frustrated so much. I even turned her food upside down on the table the other night because she refused to eat (another problem!) which really upset her. I immediately felt so guilty and apologised with lots of cuddles because I hated the thought of her being frightened.

All these toddler issues I know are normal. I know that even to some extent my reaction to these issues are somewhat normal. However, I’m not feeling very normal. I’m not liking these feelings I get when I’m stressed. It doesn’t help that my partner is telling me how much of a bad person I am for being so stressed out at him lately. His reasons for saying these things are because my mood swings are also aiming at him - I swear and yell at him quite often for not pulling his weight more around the house and with the general childcare. I work 3 full days a week then 4 days at home with my Daughter. He works 5 days and spends most weekends out and about with friends fulfilling his fun boy hobbies!

The final thing is, tonight after a blazing row with my partner which ended in me in tears on the kitchen floor, I actually sat there and started to scratch myself on my arm, then pinch myself until it hurt a lot. Then later did the same thing when I started to feel anxious again. It was my 1st instinct. I’m not this person. I’m a good person who’d do anything for anyone. I’m just a very stressed out Mummy with a high pressure job, a naughty toddler who I love more than anything and a partner who loves me but thinks I’m the worst person in the world right now.

I know this might just be a phase but right now I’m struggling mentally. Are these levels of stress normal? Do I need to see a heath professional? If so who? GP, HV?

Thanks for reading guys. X

I would start by talking to your partner and saying pretty much the same as you’ve just written in your post. Hopefully then he’ll be able to support you and things can improve for you all. I think if he can support you you’d be able to reflect and see things in a different light before you start shouting at your daughter.

The self harm is a cry for help right? You need someone to help you ie your partner. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Toddlers push all boundaries!

Hope that helps a bit x

You have my sympathies, I have a 3yr old and 1 yr old and it's exhausting and some days I hate myself for not being the happy perfect mommy that we all want to be. I shout so much some days. I'd never lay a finger on my kids but sometimes I wonder if shouting is just as bad. And also pointless because it never seems to get me anywhere. My eldest has become so naughty of late and defiant and my youngest copies him. It's hard work unbelievably so. I'm a SAHM and I've no idea how women juggle work children and housework without cracking up! Especially if their partners don't help out. You need a break as much as anyone else.
Do you have anyone to talk to? I always vent to my mom and tell her what an awful mom I am for losing my rag and not being as patient or attentive as I should be and she always reassures me that I'm a normal mom and have to stop beating myself up. I would suggest sitting your husband down and telling him how you feel. It's not easy, but I ended up breaking down in tears to my husband who helps out tons and yet it still feels like as the mom everything seemed to be put on me. And I wasn't coping. But you will get through this. I hope I will too! Her behaviour is likely just a phase and the terrible twos