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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Seriously clingy 2 yr old

9 replies

babyblue2 · 17/04/2007 14:37

DD2 is 2.1 and is sooooooo clingy. She wants me all of the time and cries if DH even looks at her. If I walk away from her there's hysterics. She would happily forfeit food and drink when she realises I have to go and get them. DD1 (4) is being affected by it now - wanting mummy time. I don't give in to DD1's tantrums etc but its getting ridiculous. Help

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lucyellensmum · 17/04/2007 15:06

i have the opposite problem, dd wants daddy all the time, daddy has to go to work and he cannot move from the time he gets home, she has even been known to go to the loo with him to avoid drama. Its endearing mostly but can be a tie, mine is clingy to me during the day and i find it difficult preparing food etc, and clean my house? forget it

mumto3girls · 17/04/2007 15:11

We are just experiencing this with our 23 month old dd...she follows me everwhere and at times just says 'big hug' and wants carrying around whilst she chews my hair and says ''ahhhhh' in a really cute way...but it's sad for dp who adores her and wants quality time with her when he gets in from work..and tiring for me when she is like a limpet all day...she didn't used to be like this!!

Original poster

babyblue2 · 17/04/2007 16:00

I should know what this is like cos DD1 was like this but DD2 came along so its a bit of a blur. I'm kinda at my wits end at the mo....

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ju5red · 23/04/2007 22:16

My 22 month old is going through this at the moment, she is very clingy with me and its driving me mad. I walk from room to room and she is there hanging onto my leg constantly. Its frustrating because you dont feel like you can have some time to yourself. She wont go to Daddy, I have to do everything for her. I actually think its because of her 5 month old sister, she started this just after she was born. Also, daddy cant put her to bed I have to do it or else we have a screaming fit ?? She has also started waking 2am ish every night and cries until we pick her out of the cot and demands to sleep in our bed. We cannot put her back in her cot. We wondered if she suffers from nightmares?? So every night she ends up in our bed, this is very easy for us as she then sleeps fine and doesnt wake our 5 month old. Any suggestions ?? please help. We cant really do controlled crying at 2am as it wakes her sister.

sunnysideup · 23/04/2007 22:37

ju some of this is in your control. If you decide daddy is putting her to bed, that's what happens. If you are both determined you will outlast her tears. It's just a case of doing it.

And with the night waking, again you tell HER what will happen; to feel safe and secure she needs to know that her adults are setting the boundaries so don't feel bad about it. Do what suits you and her; if you don't mind having her in your bed from 2am then that's fine, no problem. If you don't want her in your bed it's a case of no longer offering that option; she is two, she can't make you (thought believe me I know it feels like they can make you do anything....) but if you are determined and consistent with what you do, she will accept it sooner or later. Maybe you could sit in her room while she drops off again?

And babyblue, I do sympathise, my ds was very clingy. As you know already this won't last forever. I honestly think it's a case of letting her be with you as much as you physically can, giving her what she is asking for; but if you need to put her down, don't agonise about it. Sometimes you need to press on with other things just for a second and that's fine.

Original poster

babyblue2 · 24/04/2007 12:20

Thanks Sunny, actually the last few days have been totally different. I decided to take a different stance with her and when she ran away from DH, told her not to be so silly, when he picked her up and she screamed I walked off and he perservered, when she came to me she got a little ruffle of hair. By not giving in to her with constant cuddles she seems to have backed off a bit (unless she's tired). Ju, i sympathise because you may have made a little rod for your own back which you now have to break. I again went through this when DD2 was born and DD1 was 2, I did the same as you and the night time wakings/early mornings lasted for nearly a year after which i finally decided enough was enough. Time to grab the bull by the horns.

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mamma2kids · 24/04/2007 12:24

I agree with Sunnisideup. Give as much reasurrance, cuddles, attention as is practical and when you can't be firm about it. DS was like this and is now very sociable little boy.

sunnysideup · 24/04/2007 12:36

babyb, I'm glad things have been a tad better. It's so difficult to get past their distress, isn't it - ds had a huge phase where he didn't want daddy etc etc; but we did persevere because at the end of the day all you are doing is passing your child to it's other adoring parent, it's not torture! You did exactly the right thing and I'm sure it will pay off in the future in your dd's relationship with her dad.

ju5red · 24/04/2007 21:22

Thanks Baby blue and Sunnyside. We have made a decision to tackle this head on and not put her in our bed when she wakes at 2am. You are right Baby Blue we have done this I think we have felt sorry for her since Baby 2 arrived. You will do anything to make them Happy!!
Cheers, lets hope this time next week we have cracked it!!

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