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5 year old stealing

2 replies

Daddydaycare1979 · 17/11/2017 16:09

HI all.

Im new here and a dad so please be gentle with me.

My 5 year old step Son has recently started stealing things from school.
It started off with a lego figure from the toy box at school. He told me he took it and i explained to him how taking things was wrong etc and he seemed to understand... i put it back in his bag and told him to return it tomorrow at school.

The next day he was very secretive about his book bag and when we got home we found he'd stolen again.. this time a bat and ball from school. Hed made an excuse to leave the class and taken it and hidden it in his book bag. I was devastated and i told my OH his mum about it and the previous lego figure. She said that she'd deal with it as i had to go back to work.
The next day she got a phone call from his teacher. Hes been caught stealing 😣 this time chocolates from her desk. He was taken out of class and had to sit on his own in another class with a teacher until mum collected him from school. During this time the teacher said he sat there with a smirk on his face and absolutely no remorse for what he'd done. He was punished when he got home with no ipad or tv or games of any kind. Again we explained that what he did was wrong and why he shouldn't do it... but still i felt the message hadn't sunk in...
Low and behold the very next day he's stole from school again! Im at my wits end now.
His mother and i have very different discipline techniques unfortunately.. im far far stricter than she is.. i was brought up that if i ever stole anything id have to return it and apologise..and was punished for it by having things taken away.. but she thinks a telling off is enough..
Obviously hes my stepson so her word is final and i have to accept that.. but i was wondering if any of you had any similar experiences with this?
Any help, advice or opinions are welcome.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Catalufa · 17/11/2017 16:21

It’s great that you are actively involved in your step son’s life. I do think you and his Mum need to sit down together and have a good chat about discipline as it’s so important that you’re on the same page. It’s natural for you to have different parenting styles, but you need to try and follow a consistent approach otherwise it is confusing for your DSS.

As she’s his Mum I think she should have the final decision, but ideally you can both agree on a compromise approach. Decide between you exactly what will happen if he steals again, then explain this to him and follow through if necessary.

Don’t panic. You sound very upset about this, but he’s only 5 and I’m sure it’s just a phase! 5 year olds do silly things.

Daddydaycare1979 · 17/11/2017 16:40

Thanks for taking the time to reply.
I do try to be as involved as i can with him. I treat him the exact same way i treat my daughter. ( His baby sister. )
Im hoping it is just a phase hes going through as his general behaviour has got worse recently too.

I absolutely agree that we both need to sit together and discuss a plan for if it happens again. A strong decicive joint decision is needed.

Lol.. maybe i am overreacting a little.. he is only 5 and i guess times have changed from when i was that age. Im just keen to nip it in the bud before it becomes a problem

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