So, quick facts:
- I live in Denmark so not even sure if 7yr olds get homework in the UK, but she gets what should be about 10 minute's worth most evenings.
- I'm just her stepdad and have lived here for a year. We have a great relationship and the home situation is very settled with good routines. Her dad has her and little sis (3) every other weekend for two nights. Situation between my partner and him is very amicable, friendly, and there's no conflict for the kids to deal with. Her very devoted mum isn't much for internet forums and such so I offered to ask 'that mums forum' as she puts it.
Right... she's apparently at the right level in her development and very good at her work when she focuses. She's easily distracted though, but not to a level where the school worries about it or suspects a disorder or some type.
But at home she cannot focus on it at all. I take the 3yr old to another room and play with her so she doesn't distract big sis. Her mum will sit with her and help if required but obviously refuse to just do it for her.
She takes a long time to do it, saying it's hard and that she needs us to help more. She'll get distracted very easily, and try and talk about other things. Every now again she focuses for a minute and gets a section done really easily, with no problems. Then there will be crying and tantrums.
I know she feels a sort of jealousy or injustice that little sis is babied more and still has help getting dressed etc. and I think she resents any sort of responsibility when at home, especially in comparison to her sister.
The girl's dad has ADHD and I know this scares my partner, even though the school doesn't see grounds to worry about it.
I personally feel that if we can stick to a routine of sorts it will get better - she's only had it regularly for a short period of time. Other behaviours we were firm about (getting herself dressed etc.) caused a lot of complaints and tantrums at first but now go easily.
Because of his ADHD, chronic OCD and couple of other issues, their dad would flip out and shout and scream easily before he moved out a couple of years ago. I don't know if this influenced her to resort to emotional outbursts easily. This isn't to try and attack him by the way - he's become a great 'weekend dad' - they enjoy seeing him and he doesn't spoil them excessively as I've read many dads do in the situation.
Or is this just... normal? Another thing that comes with the raising children gig? It upsets my partner a lot and if nothing else I'd love to be able to reassure her based on other's experiences.