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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Won't sleep unless being held..

40 replies

Charmian · 16/04/2007 20:11

Hi
Our baby Sophia is 4 days old. She is breastfeeding really well but she won't sleep in her moses basket. She just cries and cries, even if we swadle her. However if we hold her she falls asleep easily. Husband and me not getting much sleep at all.
Any suggestions?
She is feeding every 2.5 hours approx.
Thanks! Charmian

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Ceebee74 · 16/04/2007 20:13

Congratulations on your baby.

Tbh, I think you may be expecting a little too much for such a young baby - let her sleep wherever and whenever she wants at this age. Just enjoy cuddling her and make the most of it

Hilllary · 16/04/2007 20:13

Gosh this brings back memories, she just needs the reassurance at the moment, try putting her into the moses basket and massaging her to calm her, it should make her eyes heavy enough to fall asleep. Then tip toe off into another room, (I know you are not supposed to start that but in your case you need the rest)

morningpaper · 16/04/2007 20:14

Congratulations!

This is completely normal. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Get a sling so you can lug her around. Just go with what she wants. My babies slept on my chest for the first few weeks! Annoying but it doesn't last forever!

Well done on the feeding, sounds like you are doing a great job.

Hilllary · 16/04/2007 20:14

Sorry I did mean to say Congratulations

Blandmum · 16/04/2007 20:15

Both of mine were like this. In the end I slept with them. By the time they were 6 weeks they would spend part of the night with me, and part in a carrycot beside me (I slept on the floor on a futon with them). As they got older, they gradually spent more time in the carry cot and less with me. I gradually 'weaned' them from co-sleeping and in the end they slept in the cot.

Original poster

Charmian · 16/04/2007 20:22

This is my first time on mumsnet and it is amazing. With your replies, I already feel a little better. Just hearing that it won't last helps....I am also suffering with mastisis, red hot patches on boobs so it hasn't been a great day!

Thanks for all the support
Charmian

OP posts:

percypig · 16/04/2007 20:24

Again, congratulations! I think this is fairly normal for babies this age, and it doesn't last forever. Our son was great t napping from birth but night-times were a total nightmare for the first 6 days. Just a couple of suggestions for you:

1 Try lying down with her beside you so she knows you're close, but you don't actually have to hold her. Some people would suggest co-sleeping, but if you don't want to do that then move her to the Moses basket when she's dropped off.

2 Put her in Moses basket with your hand on her chest, try a lullaby, massaging her etc. till she falls asleep. She may wake up and cry when you lift your hand, or later when she realises you're not there, but I'd resist the temptation to rush back in. By that I don't mean you should leave her for ages, I mean like a minute or two.

It sounds like you're not happy having to hold her all the time, which I think is understandable, and personally I think it's good to get her used to falling asleep herself. It worked for us, and on the other hand I have several friends who kind of fell into the habit of holding/rocking their babies to sleep and really regretted it.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 16/04/2007 22:28

Congratulations.

Get off to the gp with mastitis. You can take ibuprofen for it too which is a huge help.

Babies do like cuddles and comfort. Dont forget, she has been snuggled up tightly in your womb for 9 months, that is what she is used to. Believe me - you will miss it when she grows out of it. Enjoy it while it lasts.

All babies are different - some sleep well, some dont. As long as you give your baby lots of cuddles and feeds, you are doing the right thing at this stage.

colditz · 16/04/2007 22:32

Just hold her. She will grow out of it. You cannot form any kind of habit until your baby is about 4 months old, so don't worry about making a rod for your back

But here is a neat trick I used on ds2.

Put the moses basket on the bed next to you, then wrap baby in a sheet that goes under the back of her head. The idea is when you put her down, that sheet will still be there.

Now snuggle baby until she goes to sleep, then Oh So Slowly lower her down into the basket next to you. Keep your hand on her tummy for 4/5 seconds, then gradually lift off.

Then flop down into exhausted unconciousness!

Hth

SherlockLGJ · 16/04/2007 22:32

Five days ago, she was in the womb surrounded by amniotic fluid happy safe and secure. Now she is in the big bad world with nothing to make her feel secure apart from her parents, the people she could hear in the womb. Treasure it.

colditz · 16/04/2007 22:39

I look at my galumphing four year old, and I remember when I was his entire world.

Then I stoicly take my pill. No more babies for me, no more now, but treasure the tinyness because although it is so hard, it's gone in the blink of an eye.

EllieKthePA · 16/04/2007 22:42

ooh Charmian, does that mean she was born on Friday? My ds2 (Joe) was born friday and he's doing this too, don't remember it with ds1 but i'm just going with it and enjoying the cuddles too

colditz · 16/04/2007 22:43

(congratulations EllieK)

EllieKthePA · 16/04/2007 22:46

thanks Colditz

the combination of Joe and Matthew (3.5) is just starting to hit home

colditz · 16/04/2007 22:54

I have a 1 year old and 4 year old, and it's great now.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 16/04/2007 23:54

I have a 4 yo and a 2yo and I am farking knackered

But equally happy too.

KerryMum · 16/04/2007 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nappyaddict · 16/04/2007 23:59

get a sling for day time and co sleep at night.

nappyaddict · 17/04/2007 00:01

if you don't want to cosleep and haven't already bought a cot get a bedside one. otherwise lie on the bed with her then move her to her moses basket when she is asleep.

fairysnuff · 17/04/2007 00:18

Aw Congratulatipns you guys!

I can't believe you are home so soon! I was in hospital until DD was nearly a week old!(fairly norm birth too)
Can't say I remember much of my time there, though I am sure I didn't get much sleep either.

But I am with the others, don't worry too much and enjoy.
Co sleeping would be my way to go, being in hospital for the week meant I couldn't (they said the bed was too small) but I woulda if I coulda.

And go get the drugs (man) for the mastitis, things will get better after that I am sure.

Thinking of you
DD is only 7 months and I wanna have another!! Crazy!!

CoteDAzur · 17/04/2007 10:52

Don't start co-sleeping unless that is how you mean to go on (I have a friend still co-sleeping with her 2 yr old DD. Needless to say, their lives with DH are slightly different). Your little girl is very little yet, and as others said, she needs your warmth and closeness. These days will pass, and she will be more and more able to soothe herself to sleep on her own.

For now, you just need to put her down very slowly when she sleeps. Don't wait before you put her down, because then she will more easily wake up and stay up. Carry a soft bunny under your shirt for a while before her bedtime (so it smells of you) and put it in her cot with her.

If you haven't already, get some dummies, too. They are a great source of mighttime comfort for sucky little ones.

Hope that helps. Congratulations and good luck.

NineUnlikelyTales · 17/04/2007 10:58

I wouldn't worry about co-sleeping never coming to an end if you start now. I know plenty of people who spent a few days/weeks/months co-sleeping and then switched to a cot. We co-slept with DS until 6 months, now he sleeps half the night in a cot and the other half with us. 4 days is very, very, very young and like the others have said, your DD just wants to be near you.

We found that DS wouldn't even lie next to me in the bed to begin with, so I used to lie on my back and put DS tummy down on my chest (with his face to the side), where he slept like a dream and so did I. I only had covers over my legs and my body kept DS warm.

Congratulations...and Sophia is a lovely name

NineUnlikelyTales · 17/04/2007 11:00

Oh and also, dummies might not be such a great idea at this early age if you want to carry on BF.

(Sorry CoteDAzur, I know I always disagree with you and I'm sorry because you sound so nice!)

tibsy · 17/04/2007 11:20

congratulations!!
as other advice, i'd just go with it. both my dc's have been the same. dd now nearly 8 months and spends half night in her cot and then comes in with us
they really are little for such a short space of time in the grand scheme of things and its so yummy to wake up to a smiling bubba in the morning
it used to really chuff me off when people send i was making a rod for my back gggrrrr!!!
the 'no cry sleep solution' offers some nice ideas that you can try if you're interested. i bought it and started to implement some of the 'strategies' but i'm a lazy arse and decided to go with the flow when dd was titchy

Original poster

Charmian · 17/04/2007 12:00

Hi All, wow - we have had an amazing night. Thank you so much for all your help and advice, it has sincerely made the world of differance. She slept next to me in bed last night but was very careful. She would sleep 3 hours then my husband changed her, then she fed for 40 minutes then she slept again for 2-3 hours - it was great! We got about 7 hrs sleep in total.

During the day we are using the sling and again it is owrking like a charm.

Really feel we are winning!

Sincere thanks
Charmian

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