2 1/2 and has started to hit mummy. Is it cos I am pregnant?

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I am 7 months pregnant. My DS attends nursery part time (2-3 days days a week). In the past month he has started to hit me. Just me... not DH. I am really upset by this happening in the first place and also upset by the thought that he hates me or something.

I am doing the normal reprimanding - "you do not hit mummy" in very firm tone of voice. Down at his eye level etc. DH has been very supportive and also intervenes when this has happened and backed up the telling off. So DS knows that its not allowed.

He knows its "not nice" and he knows that it hurts me. He has done it when he comes into our bed in the morning and has made me cry because its hurt when he has punched me in the face.

But it doesn't seem to make any difference. He still does it. its not an everyday occurance but its happenning a few times a week.

I have spoken to nursery and they have said he has normal toddler behaviour and the boys in his class can push or whatever from time to time and they are told off, but they have not noticed any deterioration in his behaviour of any change in aggressiveness towards other children. So it seems to be particularly directed towards me.

Any thoughts on what to do? Help!

Poor you. It's really upsetting isn't it. Dd went through a stage of doing this when she was about 2. She only ever hit me, not dh.

The first few times we did the same thing as you - eye level, clear reprimand etc. When that didn't work, we changed tack and started giving her a pre-warning at the sort of times we knew she might hit (with us, it was just before bed time).

"If you hit me, then you will not sit on my knee and have a story". I know that sounds lame, but to her, it was a really major thing!

If she hit me, then dh would immediately take her off my knee. I would give her no attention at all, not even eye contact and he would take her out of the room.

After a few minutes, he would bring her back to say goodnight to me. However much she asked for a story, we still said no, because that was what we had said would happen.

In our case, it was definitely an attention seeking/gaining reaction type of thing. The less reaction she got, the quicker she stopped.

My 22 month old has been hitting people for months but he only does it to the ones he likes!! Just doesn't realise it hurts as he is so little.

I doubt it is because you are pregnant but it could be because he senses things are different but doesn't understand what.

I'd heard that it's quite normal for older 'siblings' to react like this when confronted with pregnant mums....my nephew did it with my sis, and also with me (we were very close). Don't know if this is an accepted theory or not, but I think all the talk of "Oooh, baby's kicking me" maybe gives them the impression that it's OK as mummy likes it when the baby does it. Could be nonsense, but that's my theory anyway.

How to stop it...not sure on that one, we explained that it wasn't acceptable behaviour and that when we talked about the baby hitting and kicking, we meant that the baby was moving around and wasn't trying to hit or kick. It seemed to do the trick!

Thanks. I guess I was just a bit shocked at the lack of impact of reprimand. I had thought that would have an impact particularly when DH was giving it. But it was like it we were powerless.

(then of course, we were starting to feel like we had made the wrong decision about sending him part time to nursery as it must mean that he no longer had any respect for us)

We will try the less reaction alternative. He loves his stories so if its anywhere close to bedtime that can be used. Also is found of Bob DVDs - so that can be used as a withdrawl if necessary.

I have this at the moment and I'm not pregnant.

Ds1 has been through two phases of this. The first was when he started pre-school aged 2. The second was when he started nursery. I feel it was because he saw other kids hitting so thought it was just something he could do (volunteered at pre-school to find out why he's started doing it).
We would give him one verbal warning and withdraw any attention immediately after. Then we would naughty-step him. Worked within weeks both times, though it does confuse him when others hit him (trying to work on how he deals with them).
I think it is normal developmental stuff, but it could also be that he's sensing things are changing and is feeling a bit insecure in which case it's probably really worth upping the amount of positive attention he gets generally at the same time as dealing with the hitting and see if that gets you any results

My DS 2.2 is also doing this ( I am just over 3mths PG) and i find it really upsetting. I am using time out with him after one warning and it really is hard work as he will then sometimes hit when I go in after 2mins & then I have to make him do another 2 mins but we do get there

I have found that u have to be consistent or it doesnt work, DH is not very good with it he will give warning and then do nothing if he hits again or goes straight to time out & it really is fustrating & my sis who sometimes looks after DS cant control him at all as she is to soft

I keep thinking he will grow out of it .........I will in the meantime keep teaching him it is wrong