If I'm honest, I don't really know. Sometimes I wonder if we're just not doing a very good job at parenting/disciplining him when he misbehaves. Or whether this all stems from sibling rivalry & is just him attention seeking. Then other times I worry theres more to it but then I doubt myself & wonder if its just my own anxieties exaggerating it all in my head.
For background, as a baby/toddler he hit all his developmental milestones ok, clapped, pointed, waved & made eye contact fine. He talked very early - full sentences by 18 months. But he was very sensitive to loud noises and struggled for a long time with stranger/separation anxiety. He much preferred the company of adults & although he had one friend, he got very upset if other children went near him or made any noise (shout/cry etc) & would actively seek quiet areas to stand. He cried at every nursery/preschool drop off & the staff were concerned how he'd settle into school (he's summer born too).
I saw his GP around this time to express my worries about his difficulties interacting with other children. She was very understanding but suggested a wait and see approach; and said to go back if he was still struggling once he started school.
And although he took a good part of the reception year to go in without crying, he has made remarkable progress. He's now in Y3, he is acedemically very bright, well behaved, does exactly what is asked of him, never in trouble - a model student really. He's made lots of friends & plays well with them, and will also now talk to unfamiliar children too, so seems to have outgrown his earlier issues. School have never expressed any concerns about his behaviour, in fact they couldn't speak more highly of him.
For the most part, at home he is kind, loving & sensitive, but has some behaviours that can be hard to live with (in a driving us crazy kind of way). He
1.dives, jumps & bounces everywhere, almost all the time (except when his favourite tv shows are on). When sitting he fidgets & jiggles, taps his feet etc.
- talks ALL the time. Interrupts & speaks over you. Talks at you regardless of whether he has your attention before starting the conversation.
- his only topic of conversation is the tv shows & characters he is (almost obsessively) interested in
- he fills every silence with noise. if not talking he makes silly vocal noises, bangs & taps thing.
- often repeats his own words - sometimes random words sometimes sentences. often 10-20 times over. As if he likes how the words feel rolling off his tongue.
- he's an incredibly picky eater. Likes bread/cereal, & other 'beige' foods but not much else. Seems to dislike foods with texture - rice, mash/baked potato, soup, any sauces, veg, dumplings, most fruits. Its very hard to cook for him, he eats like a sparrow - DD 3 eats more than him
- he does the squeal. in the past he has done eye blinking, mouth stretching & hitting himself on the head but these have all passed after a few weeks/months.
- he doesn't seem to listen. We arealwsys having to repeat instructions to him e.g. get down from the sofa yet it never seems to register.
The two that worry me the most are that:
- he gets frustrated very easily and it can quickly escalate into a bit of a meltdown, with him hitting himself in the forehead & saying things like "I'm useless" "I'm rubbish" " I hate myself" - we have never ever said things like this to him & can't understand why he would feel like this about himself. its heartbreaking to hear him say such negative things about himself I I really don't know how to handle it.
- he panics very easily about something that would be minor to you or i e.g. taking off a plaster is a massive deal & usually leads to him screeching & crying, he panics about characters in disney films my almost 3yo dd likes to watch & wont go in the room or even upstairs if he's seen the dvd box for it.
When I read it back it part of me thinks a lot of these things individually are just normal 7 year old behaviour (jumping around/not listening etc) and then I worry that maybe we're not setting firm enough boundaries, but theres this niggle that all together there could be something more to it. He's so very different from my daughter & the older she gets the more I see it.
Wow that was longer than I expected. Sorry!